Five days ago, I posted my 1,000th Crane.
Can you guess how lost I feel without this daily habit?
The extra daily time from posting and writing about this project… it’s not a relief to have that extra time now. I feel empty when I remember I don’t *have* to do anything anymore. Empty.
Date: April 24, 2016
Days Spent on Project: 1159
Location: Still NW Portland, OR
Music I listened to while sewing: Thanks to Youtube, it was suggested that I listen to music by Audial.
I have been listening to a lot of Pet Shop Boys and Fort Fairfield in the past five days, too.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: You know what, life keeps going. The “A Thousand Quilted Cranes Project” is done, in one way. The block-building, the physical daily act I *had* to do for the project, is finished.
I technically no longer have to do this.
I could put my stacks of Cranes in a box, in a container, in my closet, on a shelf, and not think about them again.
I have more than a few quilt tops that have been folded up and placed on closet shelves- I have at least three “tops” with me in Portland, in folded piles and long-forgotten. One is the quilt top I pieced together back in 2011, after that date with Fred N., when he challenged me to start quilting if it was something I wanted to pursue. Another quilt top is the 10′ x 12′ grey tone-on-tone piece that I pieced together based off the hallway tiles in that decrepit UES apartment that The Dog and I called home in 2012. The third quilt top I still have is an adapted pattern I made- lots of cats paws and cats and cat tails- a friend of mine asked me to make a quilt for her. I didn’t finish it because I was too broke to buy the materials. I still have the parts I pieced together before I ran out of money.
I don’t want this project to end.
I don’t want this project’s vision to end.
I don’t want to stop.
I know I purposefully told myself- take time off from this for as long as you need- but I already feel a bit lost without the obligation.
I need to start figuring out the details of how I want to finish it. It’s time to commit to it.