Ten more to go and… The Countdown BEGINS!
Date: April 9, 2016
Days Spent on Project: 1144
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: TBD
Music I listened to while sewing: Currently Sia’s “Unstoppable,” courtesy of Youtube.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Well, it’s a gorgeous Saturday here in Portland. The weather is much more comfortable than the unexpected mid-80s we had the past two days. My dog has taken a few very slow walks around the neighborhood. I did get to the gym. I pieced together pattern pieces for my first half scale dress for my half scale dress form. (Result: not perfect exactly with some sewing mistakes made, but overall pretty goof for sewing something that small!) I got an iced coffee. I sat outside in a park. I went to Powell’s.
Today I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to manage a department, how I want to manage my department, who I want to manage, the kind of atmosphere I want to foster, and the kind of work I hope to do here.
I feel like this season has given me the chance to get a better control over my (financial) resources at work. I feel like I’ve developed that skill here in a way that I didn’t have last year (and I believe that was not because I wasn’t competent or capable; I feel like I was still operating like this was New York… I know now it’s so not New York). But almost two years into this, I’m starting to see and recognize habits and behaviors and attitudes in the people I work with on a daily basis. In some instances, okay… we all have quirks and strengths and weaknesses. In other ways… well? I’m unimpressed.
I’ve learned a lot in the past 21 months. I want to commit to this job and this place. But, I do have ambition for myself and the theater and my employees. Is that bad? Can I push us towards something better? Do people want to be pushed?
What exactly do I want from them?
If the work is consistently okay, is it their fault? Is it the designer’s fault? Is it the kinds of plays we’re doing?
What are the qualities in the employees that I want?
Is it bad if I just want it to be a better (i.e. more positive and more fun and more team-oriented)? Is it bad if I want to work alongside people that I can chat with?
Anyway, with ten days left on this project… this is what I’ve been thinking. Things in my life have changed in the 1100-some days since this began, haven’t they?