Block 973: March 23, 2016


Well, yesterday sucked.

Date: March 23, 2016

Crane: 973

Days Spent on Project: 1127

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: TBD

Music I listened to while sewing: I’ve got my ipod’s earbuds in and I’m listening to some McQueen… “Irere” again, in case you thought I had gotten myself out of a rut.

I haven’t.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I have decided to call this MY Costume Shop. I have decided to take ownership of the fact that I run and manage this department.

I’m not trying to be pushy or controlling or anything, but it’s time.

And I am so ready to re-structure more in here.

I’m sorry. But if an employee tells you that they’re afraid of you, don’t necessarily trust or mistrust you, don’t feel comfortable talking to you, don’t want to collaborate with you, feel like I throw temper tantrums (huh?)… And imply that in order to make THEM more comfortable I need to change how I am as a person… And that we should just agree to never work well together.

As the boss, what do you do with that? I’m sorry, as MY employee, what do you want me to do with that information?

I’m sorry. If a department is a reflection of its manager, it also has to be a reflection of the workers inside. I don’t want to manage a department where I feel like I need to tiptoe on eggshells around one particular employee because she thinks I might be angry with her. I don’t want to manage a department where I have to change who I AM just to make one employee more comfortable.

I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. I get that. But I don’t care. I’m your boss. Do your job. I know *I* didn’t hire you… but jeez.

Anyway, counting down the hours until I can go home. Didn’t sleep well last night, and this morning I discovered evidence that I had been sleep walking! Ooooooh.

I’m messed up.

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