Block 946: February 25, 2016

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Remembering to do this at work today… since I have the time to kill.

Date: February 25, 2016

Crane: 946

Days Spent on Project: 1100 (wow?)

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: TBD

Music I listened to while sewing: Today I’m listening to my dog snoring from his bed next to my desk in my office. It’s his third day at work this week! Exciting, certainly, but all he wants is for me to stop walking around so he can relax…

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Thinking that I want to cancel my job interview tomorrow morning.

I mean… it’s a possibility, certainly. It pays better. It’s closer to the east coast. I have family in that city. I have more family about 6 hours away by car. New York is accessible.

But it’s another unknown? And it’s another move?

There’s a part of me- and I know this seems simultaneously silly and frustrating from the outside- but I’ve only been here for 19 months. Is that enough time to be immersed somewhere?

I still think change is possible here. I still think the ship is being redirected, however slowly, the ship is changing course.

I know it’s not a commitment, but is it something I’m seriously going to pursue?

Last year when a job opening came up at Milwaukee Rep, which I also interviewed for a few times, I thought I wanted it. I didn’t get it in the end, obviously. But I was okay with that… Because it was a huge unknown. And, it seemed, that I’d be simply switching locations but nothing else.

I don’t know if I’m ready to go?

I don’t know if this is simply me giving up?

I don’t know if this is me embracing this and just trying to make it work?

I don’t know if there’s possibility here, but I still think there might be?

I think I just just embrace it.

Right?

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