Hour 37 of tech rehearsal; we still haven’t finished teching this show… and we have an audience in 6 and a half hours.
Date: January 16, 2016
Days Spent on Project: 1060
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: TBD
Music I listened to while sewing: No music today!
I spent some time yesterday with headphones plugged into my MacBook as I sat in tech; it was great to listen to my music while we toiled away on this show… Although I did feel bad about being shutting myself out of the social experience of sitting in tech. And then I realized everyone else was either on an iPhone or playing a game on a laptop and so on.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I just bought $200 of dress shirts. FOR MYSELF.
They were from H&M, so I got 10 of them! Of the same exact dress shirt.
I have been thinking- at least since last summer- that I was going to start wearing a “uniform” to work. The same style trousers, the same style of shirt, maybe a cardigan or vest, a blazer or jacket, maybe a tie, and then a nice pair of shoes.
I’d like to walk into work and be seen in my own costume. I feel like who I am in Portland and in this building and with this job is so… not necessarily ME (?). I don’t know how else to describe it. More and more, I feel like- when I was hired and employed to work here as a shop manager- that I was cast in a role that wasn’t the part I originally auditioned for.
Yes, I mean, I did apply for this job; in the random way that Life sometimes works, the narrative of my life has taken me on an unexpected journey where I’m in a management position and possibly being forced to give up my design career- and that’s unexpected.
So, subtly, subliminally, I feel like wearing a uniform is appropriate. A costume for a costume designer.
I don’t know if people will pick up on it.
But that’s the statement I am thinking about making.
I hope that’s not weird.
I also don’t care if it’s weird. Clothes, for me, are so much about other people and their needs that this feels more efficient and more truthful.
Okay, Hour 38 has begun.
Back to staring at the stage.