Block 903: January 13, 2016

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Hour number twelve at the theater. Three and a half more to go!

Date: January 13, 2016

Crane: 903

Days Spent on Project: 1057

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: TBD

Music I listened to while sewing: Well, today, I started to listen to the weekly “Discover” playlist on Spotify. Nothing too thrilling for me so far. I wonder if the service deliberately follows an amazing music week with a lackluster one to make you the good stuff even more…

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I don’t understand theater.

Regionally, I don’t understand theaters.

We’re in day two of tech for a technically ambitious show… that is to say, it’s overly ambitious because a lot of ideas- many large ideas- are being put into this “low budget” production. We’re in hour 17, I think, of tech, and we’re maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe 25% of the way through the show. I think we have 30 total hours before we have to have a run of the show, technically, before we have an audience.

I could say this show is over-designed. I could say it’s over-planned. I could say it’s overly ambitious. But I won’t.

But…

Anyway, I would like to feel good enough and trusted enough and liked enough and wanted enough. I would like to feel a part of instead of apart from.

I would like to be inspired. To be inspiring. To feel challenged. To challenge.

To get excited. To excite.

Sigh.

I wanna go out and do something. I’d like to go out and be a little irresponsible and have some fun and stay up late and talk or shoot the s#-! about nothing. I would like to create some of my own stories.

I don’t necessarily want to experience “seedy Portland” (i.e. the strip clubs that “everyone goes to). I don’t want that. I just want the chance to have a fun night out with other adults.

I think I want some time outside of this theater and outside of work. I’m tired of always being here and not being thrilled by it.

Love my dog. Love Netflix. Love my apartment. Love that I have this job.

But I want something else in my life, in general.

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