Block 893: January 3, 2016

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Last night, while asleep, it snowed in Portland.

And the snow stuck. And then it started sleeting. And now it’s all ice.

And the city feels completely shut down…

Date: January 3, 2016

Crane: 893

Days Spent on Project: 1047

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: TBD

Music I listened to while sewing: Another week, another new selection of songs on my “Discover Weekly” Spotify playlist. Not sure there’s anything that has caught my ear yet.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Well, today, with the “snowstorm” outside and the city practically a ghost town, I went to see the new Star Wars movie. Finally.

And you know what? For a movie franchise (that I have seen and know) that I appreciate but don’t obsess over, I have to say it made me emotional at times. Funny reminder that pop culture can feel like home, in ways.

Walking the mile and a half home tonight- in the sleet and on icy sidewalks and roads- I took the time to look at the quiet Portland around me. I’m not sure it’s my home at all. I don’t get choked up or emotional about this city. Nothing has yet snagged my feelings to connect me to it in any way other than “my job is here now.”

But, maybe, for the moment, for THIS moment, this is where I need to be. And I’m hoping that something will come along that grabs me and makes me see it as My Place…

Or, if not, something else comes along and takes my journey elsewhere.

For now, fine. For good, who knows?

I don’t think I’m done. I refuse to think I’m done. I don’t feel done.

I feel like I have so much more to give and do. And I want the opportunity to do it.

I can give and give and give of myself and my time for work and for this job and this institution, I can. But, if they insist on taking and having, but choose not to give back… I have to understand, I am not obligated to give until I’m dry.

Shouldn’t they feel just a little obligated towards me? Just a little?

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