How do you know what you’re supposed to do?
What you’re supposed to be doing?
Date: December 21, 2015
Days Spent on Project: 1034
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: TBD
Music I listened to while sewing: I’m giving Spotify’s new “Discover Weekly” playlist a listen this evening. So far, the second song (“High and Low [Russ Remix] by EZA) has been on repeat a few times. This week’s mix is pretty great.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Last night, I felt responsible. Took my dog out- despite his silent begrudging protests of having to walk in the rain- at 9pm. Was in bed by 10. Read a bit of one magazine. Then another. And another. Turned on a documentary after 1am. Finally fell asleep after 3, I think. Was up at 6am.
Pouring rain. The dog adamantly refused to go outside then. Went upstairs, fed him, got ready or the day, and tried another dog walk at 7:30am. Another refusal on his part. I went to work, picked up a Venti coffee, and was behind my desk by 8am.
The day? Busy. An excited designer showed up for the first day of rehearsals. The two fittings were helpful, but this show- as HUGE as it is- isn’t going to wrap itself up directly. I like the people creating it, I do like their work, but I wish it were a bit more cut and dry at this point.
Shop Meeting to discuss the next month and a half. I shared my analogy about all of us- every single of us in that room- needing to be on the same ship to make it to the same destination. I said that we could no longer see ourselves as ships sailing parallel to each other. We’ll only succeed and make this better if we’re on the same boat.
And, if you show up on the same boat but tightly wrapped in a life vest and clutching a life preserver in one hand and dragging a heavy iron anchor behind you in the other… you might as well get off the ship. I need you hear and confident that we’re here together.
The shop was quiet the rest of the day, and very focused.
We have some difficult discussions to have in the next few weeks, and I need to have them soon if I’m going to make any progress.
The evening ended with the annual Company Holiday Party, which I still find incredibly awkward my second time through (but aren’t all Company Holiday Parties awkward?!). I think I learned some weird information from someone who might have been enjoying the egg nog. Maybe not.
Next year might be interesting. Decisions and choices will need to be made in January…
I’m reminded that no decision is ever really, completely and totally, permanent. I have to remind myself of that.
Nothing is un-doable.
Nothing is permanent!