Feeling a lot of self-doubt right now.
Finished the job evaluations for the six people who report to me at work; probably spent about 18 or 20 hours on them over the past week and then countless hours fretting about what I was writing.
Tomorrow, I review them with my production manager and HR person before I discuss them with those six employees on Friday. What a way to start the weekend.
Date: December 16, 2015
Days Spent on Project: 1029
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: TBD
Music I listened to while sewing: Nothing specific. I just turned on Spotify to have some noise on in the background.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Seriously, when I applied to be a Costume Shop Manager, I believed that I did have the skills set to do this job effectively. (Can you tell I’ve been thinking in “Job Evaluation” speak all week?)
And, yeah, I did and I do have those skills. I can budget. I can break a costume sketch down. I can delegate. I can schedule. I can communicate. I can collaborate. I can organize. I can source goods. I know fabric. I know how to research. I know to to do wardrobe. And so on and so on.
But, wow: the angst of evaluating people. That, my anonymous internet friends, is HARD.
It’s time that we do them. In some cases, some of these employees have never had them. And some of those employees have been here for 20 SEASONS. Yikes.
It’s time to start evaluating where we are and where we want to go and HOW we’re going to get there… instead of complaining about the here we inhabit right now.
Anyway, life is life. We’re all human and we’re not perfect and we’re all stumbling along and we’re all trying to make it all work as best we can.
BUT. Things do improve. Portland (the job) is improving. Will Portland (my personal and social life) improve? Will it.
I should be done typing for the night. It’s time to focus on other things and put today to bed.