Jeez. Today was a messed up, horrible day.
Today is another one of those days when I question WHY I want to put myself out into the world.
Date: December 2, 2015
Days Spent on Project: 1016
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: TBD
Music I listened to while while sewing: I didn’t really listen to music today. Maybe that was the problem?
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Reasons why I knew it was going to be a crap day…
- Woke up at 6am, with my alarm, and stayed in bed until 6:30 or so since the dog was snoring-purring next me and it was warm and my apartment was cold. We took a short walk outside, very routine, and came back in so that The Dog could have his breakfast. I was awake and full of energy! I sat down to make a Crane and a great one materialized… as I was using my rotary cutter to trim the edges, it slipped and I sliced through THE ENTIRE CRANE. (Today’s bumble bee Crane is a replacement). I’m sad because I didn’t have any more of the gold and black patterned fabrics to re-do the original Crane. If I had to name it, it would have been my “Hamilton” Crane. If anything, this is a lesson in learning how to let go of things we like. If anything, this is a lesson in learning that mistakes can happen whenever. If anything, this is a lesson in not getting too attached to things we like.
- Went to work to find notes about the show we’re currently in tech rehearsals for… Which is funny, since I was at tech the night before. No notes. No problems. No issues. But somehow in the hours between leaving and arriving back at work (maybe 10 hours?), there were notes! And not easy notes like, re-sew the closure or spot-clean a stain. Notes like: can this look like it’s a thousand years old? WHAT? This company has been doing this same play with the same actor and the same design for HOW LONG and you want to change it? Needless to say, I replied by email that we’d have to get permission from the original designer who’s in New York. She’s a friend of mine, strangely enough. (We got the approval and did the note, but… this was supposed to be the show with *no* labor or material needs.
- The Dog isn’t well. He’s been acting tired, antisocial, weird, and is scratching himself to the point of bleeding. It finally got to the point where I had to make an appointment with the Vet. I emailed the stage managers and production managers to tell them I’d need to be gone from the theater for a 2 hour window in the afternoon, so don’t expect any fittings or meetings to happen on the three shows happening in the shop. So what happens? They schedule fittings with actors. When I come up for air and CANCEL them because I WON’T BE THERE, I was asked: “Why do you even need to be there?” No matter how hard I try, I can’t get people here to understand that what we do is work and it requires THE DESIGNER for any work to move forward. We don’t just ask the actor to try things on. It’s SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
- The Dog has a bacterial infection- which when The Vet and I went through everything- makes sense, I guess. But now guess who’s got a strict regimen of daily antibacterial wipes and antibiotics to help control this…
- I’ve been waiting on a delivery of clothes for one show and one actor. It’s been a few weeks. We have the fitting tomorrow. I was just called by the company at 6pm today and told that the clothes were “lost in shipment.” I now have a fitting tomorrow with an actress who needs an outfit on Tuesday morning, and I don’t have any clothes. It’s currently 8:15pm and I’m at home drinking wine instead of thinking about it (sorta).
- Several people in the shop today realized that we start another round of tech on Tuesday… and that show has an audience on Wednesday. Cue the panic.
- The company cards are being declined all over the place. So, AGAIN, does this mean I have to use my personal credit card to fund shows until the theater has money? Again? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? How is this acceptable in a professional environment?
- I have $100 in my bank accounts. Combined checking and savings. It’s like I never left New York and quit freelancing.
- A company- run by friends- in New York City that helped us with our Fall Musical emailed me today that they haven’t been paid yet. They submitted an invoice over 5 weeks ago. That show has since opened AND CLOSED. “Where’s the payment?” The accountants, when I asked them, looked at me and actually asked: “Is it okay if we not pay them for a bit longer?” WTF.
- I’m having wine. I said I would try to go a week without drinking wine. It’s sad to know that a horrible day can knock my self-determination off its pedestal.
- Another mass shooting today. What?
- Wait, even another mass shooting today? WHAT?
I think that’s it. I’m going to have a bit more wine and watch some Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries and try to forget that a world exists outside my apartment. I don’t want to be done with it, but damn…
I know my experiences don’t mean much in the grand scheme of All Of This but, really? Why does so much have to suck at the same time?