Block 846: November 17, 2015

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Maybe it’s not about taking Life one day at a time, but only five minutes at a time.

Maybe sometimes you need to take Life in the increments that you can handle.

Date: November 17, 2015

Crane: 846

Days Spent on Project: 1001

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: TBD

Music I listened to while sewing: I’ve discovered an artist called Trust (spending a lot of time going back and forth between songs called “Geryon” and “Bulbform” currently). It’s dance music? It’s electronic? It’s EDM? It’s got a great bass line and a beat that’s propelling. It feels slightly urgent and dangerous and uncontrolled at times, and it feels good right now.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I didn’t sleep last night.

On one hand, my French Bulldog was snoring as if he was trying to wake the dead. And, as much as I love how he wants to sleep in my bed right now, he has an adorable yet awkward habit of sleeping partially on me or pushing me around to get himself comfortable. I spent all night listening to him, and trying to un-contort myself while he worked at contorting me.

I got up before 6am (why not?) to take him for a walk. It had been raining, so we were outside for less than a half an hour. With all that early morning free time, I decided to go to the gym to clear my head and to sweat out frustration and to feel a little active.

Today’s been long. I’ve had a lot of coffee. Things in the shop seem to be running smoothly.

It’s been raining since this weekend, off and on and on and off. It’s very grey. It’s not yet incredibly cold. But it is wet.

I don’t really have anything to say right now. I guess, truthfully, things are fine and okay in my daily, direct life. But…

I worry that the world is on the cusp of something major with all the conflict and fear, brewing as it is. I worry that we’re all about to make bad choices.

I worry that I’m alone as much as I am. I worry that I’m missing something. I worry that I’m not around the people I need to be around. I worry that I’m not meeting more people to be around. I worry that I’m not jiving here.

It’s funny how Life can be okay, Life can be not bad or not great, but Life can just be fine. It’s fine.

I need something else right now. But things are fine. I’m staying dry. I’m working. I’m making progress five minutes at a time as best I can. Sometimes that progress isn’t very big, but I’m still here.

I’m still here and here I still am.

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