Block 830: November 1, 2015

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Doing this one a little later than normal.

Date: November 1, 2015

Crane: 830

Days Spent on Project: 985

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: TBD

Music I listened to while sewing: I gave the Broadway Cast Recording of Hamilton a break today. Didn’t listen to much of anything in its place, sadly.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I would by lying to you if I let you believe that this project was easy for me to do daily.

There are days when I can’t believe I’m doing this and the work I still have to do to finish it.

There are days when I wonder why I’m doing this.

There are days when I wonder if it would matter if I just stopped, if I never finished.

There are days when I wonder what’s the point.

There are days when I wonder why I always seem to find myself alone, and why people think I’m okay with being alone.

There are days when I wonder why I felt the need to quilt 1000 Cranes, dedicating them to individuals throughout my life that have meant something.

There are days when I wonder if I really was that desperate two and a half years ago.

There are days when I wonder if anyone thinks about me.

There are days when I wonder if anyone misses me.

There are days when I wonder if I *am* a bad person.

There are days when I wonder why.

There are difficult days.

I’m going to try to prioritize myself this month, if things remain slow. More time for the gym. Less time at work. Try to save some money. Work on my resume. Start planning for a change if things don’t change.

There are times I wonder if Portland broke me.

Ugh. Okay. Time to end the day.

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