I’m having a lot of feelings right now.
Date: September 17, 2015
Days Spent on Project: 940
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: TBD.
(Side note: I’m actually glad I took a break from dedicating Cranes with this project. The point of this project isn’t about finishing as quickly as possible. It’s not about rushing through in order to be done. I don’t think I would have the opportunity to thank The Important People I Need To Thank if I just started naming people to name people. I believe in my heart of hearts that there will be a thousand important people in my life. In all my life. I’ve worked with, met, befriended, etc. 1000 people. I should give myself the time to thank the right ones, the ones who help the narrative of my life and have helped my life take shape. I’ll make these blocks and then quilt them and then connect them in the time it takes. If it takes several years, so be it. It gives me more time to reflect on my path and the people who’ve walked with me, alongside me, and past me on this Journey.)
Music I listened to while sewing: Spotify again! Nothing terribly new or interesting. You’ve all read of my newfound love for Carly Rae Jepsen.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: So much happened today that was good and was great.
I picked up my dog today at 8am. He was incredibly excited to see me, in that crazy French Bulldog way of showing excitement. He’s been around me all day. He went to work, and he was visibly euphoric to see all the people in the shop and around the theater. Seeing that behavior makes me think how much he (and, by extension, me) have made Portland our Home. I’m starting to wonder if this really could be my place for a bit.
And, while it was a busy day, it was a day of learning good things.
I feel like a lot of things are going well right now. I feel like people are on my side. I feel like I am making improvements to the atmosphere and the work, and that people are going with me as these improvements come along.
Portland, as a city, feels so quaint right now, especially when I compare it to the energy and the places and the people that I reconnected with over the past three days. I don’t honestly think of Portland as a city; I think it’s a suburb with urban sensibilities. In some ways, that makes everything about it seem okay. I’m not sure I’ll be here forever– in fact, I know I won’t be here forever– but I’m reminded that, a year ago when I arrived– this city was about Promise and Opportunity.
I’m still looking and hoping to discover what that Promise and Opportunity might be.
But, I’m glad to discover that I’m still on a quest to discover and learn and uncover Life.
As crazy as I think my life is- with all the unknowns and the questions and the angst- I’m glad to ride this journey right now. I wasn’t okay with the journey 14 months ago. I actively hated it. I was saddened and depressed by it. That I’m seeing possibility in the journey makes me think my choices were right. There are still things coming in the pipeline.
I’m still moving towards.
It’s been a good day, and I won’t take it for granted.