In 24 hours, I’ll be in New York City.
Date: September 12, 2015
Days Spent on Project: 935
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: TBD
Music I listened to while sewing: Again, in honor of Madonna’s latest tour opening, I’m listening to Rebel Heart, her latest album.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: When I left New York and moved to Portland, there was an overwhelming sense of excitement in the possibility of opportunity. I was about to step into a full-time, salaried, full year, position at a regional theater. I’d have benefits. I’d have a kind of financial freedom, knowing when I’d be paid and how much I’d be paid. I’d never been to Portland, Oregon, but everyone said it was fun and trendy.
I talked to someone a month after my move here; a friend from grad school, who had moved here with his wife for her work, he sat there and listened as I said that I felt like I left an abusive relationship by leaving New York. He agreed with me. A city that demands so much of you, with its costs and pace and lack of space and so on… it was a bit much, and I felt like i was drowning there and needed to leave in order to exist.
Fourteen months after the move, I’m getting ready to board a plane and fly back to New York. My job has bought my plane ticket, booked a hotel room, and is sending me to source fabric and resources for the next big show we’re doing. This is an awesome opportunity, and I’m glad they agreed to do this and I’m ecstatic that they agree Portland doesn’t have a lot of the supplies we need.
I’m excited. I have several friends whom I want to see and several of them want to see me. I’d like to see a Broadway show. I think it’s imperative that I see a Broadway show. I can’t wait to be surrounded by people who walk fast and see the crowds and ride the subway and go to neighborhoods easily and see diversity and variety all around me.
I’m nervous. I have to find a lot of fabric and impress the people here so they want me to do this again. I have two more big shows, later in the season, and it would be AWESOME to make this a regular thing.
I’m worried: will it be overwhelming? Will it be too much? Will I not see my friends?
Am I getting excited about diving back into an abusive relationship?
I don’t care. Right now, I’m more excited than anything. I am so ready to be back… even if it is for 75 hours.
I’ve done laundry, gone to the gym, walked the dog, filled a prescription at the pharmacy, mopped the floor, taken out the trash, and taken the dog to the kennel (he was upset). I pulled out my suitcase, and I’m seriously considering NOT packing anything so I’ll be forced to buy myself some new clothes. I think that would be even more awesome.
I’m excited. I’m SO excited. I wish I had more than 75 hours, but… well… It’s the city that never sleeps, so why should I?
Here we go.