Huh. Is it any surprise that we don’t really have anything to work on in the shop right now?
I don’t know how I intend that sentence.
Date: September 10, 2015
Days Spent on Project: 933
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: TBD
Music I listened to while sewing: Today’s song is “Inside Out” by Madonna, from her album Rebel Heart.
I hear Madonna’s new tour opened last night. I had several friends work on it in New York.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: One of the drapers (the person who makes the clothing patterns) in this shop was talking about her change in attitude.
“Finished is perfect. Done is beautiful. Ten years ago, I would have been upset with that attitude, but these days I agree.”
I’m paraphrasing a bit. That’s not an exact quote. I’ll admit that.
But, I don’t want to think like that. Why is it about finding the easiest and fastest and cheapest solution here. Sure, you don’t need to reinvent the wheel with every project you undertake, but shouldn’t you keep pushing yourself?
I don’t know what to feel about this. I know designers in their 60s and 70s and beyond who still work consistently and keep pushing themselves to make a new and interesting product. Yes, at a certain point, there are tricks you do and ideas you’re known for and styles you gravitate towards, but… I guess I’m not used to being around designers and technicians who don’t keep pushing and having expectations and trying to create design problems in order to solve them.
If I stay here for 10 years, will that be me? Will I use the same buttons and trim on every period dress? Will I recopy a drawing for every 19th century play I do? Will I pull the same costumes to refit because it worked before and it would be done?
A designer I look up to in New York- someone whom I’ve worked with a few times- admitted that he does have a few “stock” sketches that he pulls out every once and a while when the play’s needs are so “general” and flexible. He admitted he got bored of drawing the same 3 piece sack suit when he worked on a play within a very narrow period. It was good. Always communicated the information it needed to. Yes, he always colored it to fit a specific show and “spin” on the production, but the sketch was always something he had… if he needed it. But, still, he would only do that as a last resort.
In ten years, where am I going to be?
Typing up the same receipt summaries? Organizing the same wardrobe paperwork? Approving the same hourly workers for paychecks?
Why did I think moving to Portland would help my design career? Why didn’t I realize that I was giving up on my dream? Why did I give up? Did I give up?
I don’t want to.
What is Portland going to give me?