Block 744: August 7, 2015

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And it’s Friday. This is the end of the first week of the 2015-2016 season. Only 42 more to go!

Date: August 7, 2015

Crane: 744

Days Spent on Project: 899

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: TBD

Music I listened to while sewing: Today in the shop, we’re listening to Pandora. It has evolved from contemporary pop to music from the mid-90s.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Yesterday’s post was sort of dour, I admit.

So, here’s the thing. There is a lot of change happening here at the theater, and there’s reason to believe that this change will ultimately be for the better.

In the past 24 hours, I’ve learned:

— That people are curious if I want to design here again.

— That people wonder why I’m not designing here this season.

— That there may be opportunity to get back to New York City on small “working trips,” as it would actually be cheaper to fly me out there for a few days at a time at certain points of the season.

— That there is an awareness that I could make a case to be paid more.

— That people are aware that the costume shop is running more effectively and more happily than it has been in a while.

— That there is a desire to show off my department and the work we do publicly.

— That I have brought good things to the table in the past year.

There are also, obviously, some ways that I can make my time here as a manager better. Obviously. It’s my second season, after all, and there is much work to be done still to get things moving perfectly. I know I can improve in some areas. I’m aware.

But I’m moving along and making progress, and I feel like we in the shop are doing well.

So, the crux of the matter: as I hunker down here, I’m getting further ingrained into this community here, the work and the people and the building and the schedule. I’m growing to be a part of this place.

But what does it mean for all the other aspects of my life that I’d like to pursue.

I know it’s nothing big, and that it may end up being a pipe dream of mine in the long run, but I really hope The California Project turns into something.

I really hope the “interest” in designing here is actually there, and not just talk.

I really hope the ideas that I’m floating around here, which are met with interest, have the opportunity to take hold and happen.

It’s awesome that there is opportunity here. It’s awesome to feel like I’m a part of the team. It’s awesome to feel welcome here. It’s awesome to feel like I can make improvements here. It’s just awesome.

Now to make them happen.

Now to also figure out a way to get some of my passion projects happening, too.

I never, in my 8 years of New York freelancing, felt like I was a part of a larger team or group or community. Yes, people recognized me in areas and I had work and I did good work and I had people who would hire me. But, I always got the sense that I was a line item on an expense report in a large industry or a small cog that could be easily replaced if I started squeaking.

It’s nice to feel NOT like a tiny, replaceable cog here.

I want to prove that I’m a cog worth having in the machine.

We’ll see.

TGIF. I can’t wait for the weekend. I don’t have any plans, but I feel like I’ve got much to do…

Ciao.

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