Block 724: July 18, 2015

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A little better today; it’s a quarter until 8pm.

Trying to soak up as much slow, summer vacation time as possible before my shop comes back…

Date: July 18, 2015

Crane: 724

Days Spent on Project: 879

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: TBD

Music I listened to while sewing: I have the playlist for The Drowned Man playing today. It was it’s one year anniversary of closing in London last week.

Strangely, let’s admit something else here, as it does relate to Punchdrunk’s production of The Drowned Man. I knew things in my life needed to change when they announced the show, when it would preview, when it would open, what the story was based on, who the dancers in the piece were, the location, etc… and there was no way I could realistically take a “quick” weekend trip across the Atlantic for a few experiences at Temple Studios.

I did think about it. I thought about it often.

The trip would have involved: plane tickets, a hotel, transportation around (the tube and cabs), meals, tickets to the show (and I would have gone a few times, since it was likely to be a once in a lifetime thing), paraphernalia, and then anything else I could manage to fit in… as I do really like London. This doesn’t include travel to JFK (car service or cab, unless I’d want to take an hour plus ride on the subway… if it were running) and then boarding my dog for the days. Yes, I have a credit card. But, no: as much as I wanted to be there, I couldn’t in any reasonable way justify a trip to see the show.

Then, THEN, came not one but TWO email offers from Punchdrunk to attend masterclasses they were offering in design, in acting, in immersive theater. The classes cost money. So, again, i addition to the expense of getting there, I’d need to also pay for the class. Harumph.

In 2013 and 2014, when these opportunities were presenting themselves, I realized I had no flexibility with my life to do anything that I honestly, passionately, wanted to do. There was no way I could do that. There was no way I could afford it.

I wanted it. My career, my freelancing, my work, my city, they were keeping me from things that I wanted.

Punchdrunk and their work started to make me ask myself: is any of this worth it if I can’t do anything for myself? If there’s no room for fun or passion here, WHY?

Anyway, today I bought a vintage typewriter (maybe from the 1940s and it works!) for a very specific reason (The California Project).

I did it just because a) I had been looking for one to use in the Project and b) because I had the $60 on hand and c) I wanted to.

Do you understand how my life has changed in the past year?

Yes, Portland and work isn’t perfect. But things are honestly so much better.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: So, continuing my feelings about not being able to thank 1000 people easily while doing this project.

I knew it was a bit of a stretch, when I started back in February 2013, to have met 1000 people in my 36 years on this planet who’d I’d easily admit have made a difference in my life. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it without thanking baristas at Starbucks or random people I said hi to once. I knew I’d have to stop short that Very Important Aspect Of This Project at some point.

I’d rather take the time and include the people I need to, for whatever reason whether good or bad, when I know who they are.

I figure, even when I’m done making all these blocks, I’ll still have to quilt each one and then *maybe* put them all together into one shape. There is still the potential that this will take another few years to finish.

I just hope I’m able to meet 270some people who have made a difference. I do worry about that.

I do worry about meeting people. I do worry about making friends. I do worry about making connections that I need to. I worry about not making the connections I want.

I guess, in a way, it’s all the more reason to KEEP moving and not settle. My life won’t end in Portland. My career won’t stop here. I firmly believe I’ll eventually go elsewhere when Portland has shown me its purpose in my life and when that purpose has been fulfilled. I don’t know where it is, but I know there is a place for me in this world.

And I know there are people in this world- whom I don’t know yet- that will be important.

I know there are people out there who need me too.

I know there are people, and hopefully a person, who are looking for me too.

Ciao.

Enjoy your summer weekends.

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