Block 716: July 10, 2015

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Do you know that moment in the musical Ragtime when the character Brother sees Evelyn Nesbit for the first time and yells, “Life is suddenly full of wonderful possibilities!”?

I woke up this morning feeling that.

Remember that funk I was in last week? It’s very much gone now.

Date: July 10, 2015

Crane: 716

Days Spent on Project: 871

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: Shauna M.

Shauna was another person loosely connected to that Arkansas Summer Theater Festival. I actually spoke to her very early on in the process; when the artistic director and I spoke on the phone- before I signed any sort of contract agreeing to do the work- I was told to get in touch with Shauna to learn about how the costume shop would be run.

Shauna wasn’t the costume shop manager at the Festival. She worked at the university where we’d be doing the work and presenting the productions over the summer. I believe she was in charge of interviewing the people who’d be working in the costume shop, but that was the extent of her involvement with the work.

I won’t say more than that. What I will say is that meeting her, and seeing the work there, was the kick in the pants I didn’t know I needed to apply for this job in Portland. If she could do it, I could do it too.

Music I listened to while sewing: Listening to my dog snore and purr this morning.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I cannot wait to go into work this morning.

As dramatic as I’m making this sound, this change won’t be The One Solution to solve all the issues at work. However, it feels monumental. The attitude adjustment alone will be noticeable. I can’t wait to see how we all communicate together and work with each other now.

This is a huge weight lifted. I feel like I don’t have to fear for my job anymore. I don’t feel like the veiled threat of being fired will be dangled in front of me whenever I question actions or decisions. I don’t feel like I have to watch my back anymore. I don’t feel like I’m in danger. I don’t feel like I need to keep paper trails on every conversation anymore. I don’t feel like I need to question intentions with certain emails I get anymore.

I just feel relieved.

I didn’t realize how “on edge” one situation in that building was actually making me.

Okay, the funk from last week is gone.

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