Block 700: June 24, 2015

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Someone recently told me that it’s been exciting to watch me get more adventurous with colors and patterns. Have I been more so?

Anyway, only 300 more to go!

Date: June 24, 2015

Crane: 700

Days Spent on Project: 855

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: Gigi G.

Gigi was another one of the students who volunteered to work with us on The California Project. After working with the group as a whole for a few days, Vinnie and I decided that she was the best choice for one of the more major female roles in the show.

And it was interesting, watching her tackle the character, the style, the Backstory, and the work. She was curious about it all and excited to get that character more than any of the others (For what it’s worth, writing it, I did not ever think some of the characters were Major or Big or More Important than others. By the time we staged the workshop, I had been working on the Backstory for about 10 months and each character was there for a reason. PLUS, given the style of what we were trying to do, every single one of them was never “off-stage.” It would depend on what the actor brought to the table to fill in those down times, you know?). Because Gigi dove in completely, this character, who “goes away” fairly early on in the piece, did become more important to me. And I realized how incredibly specific I had to get with her choices and actions because– I learned– her behavior and relationships set up EVERYTHING ELSE that follows.

It was good to learn.

That isn’t to say that all the other characters took a step down, then. Honestly, if the questions were asked, the discussions had, the research done, the work put in… all the other characters could be more fleshed out. It’s something I hope to accomplish this year.

Anyway, thanks Gigi for the energy.

Music I listened to while sewing: Today, I’m back onto the 100 Top Tracks of Spotify! Nothing great, so I’ll keep hunting.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Yesterday was a big day for “What If’s!”

That isn’t really a good thing.

For one, a NYC acquaintance started texting me last night. We conversed for about an hour in brief chat bubbles, and it really just made me homesick. And it brought up the question: “why didn’t we ever go out on a date?”

For two, the situation here at work appears to be getting tighter and tighter before the next season officially starts. I just learned they’re cutting my budgets even more (and a little drastically at that). On top of that, it seems they know want me to (seriously) ask some of our vendors (like the dry cleaners) to provide their services for free. I feel like I’m in a weird position: having worked for my adult life as a freelancer, I was routinely underpaid or not paid or asked to do work for free and “for the exposure.” Now, I’m in PORTLAND, OR and I find that I’m asking people the same (ludicrous) question.

For three, I had dinner with a friend last friend. She had run into a mutual friend in LA a few weeks prior, and she told me: “I think he peaked in school.” Ever since then, I’m starting to question what it means to peak and how others see it and how we see it. Was my peak in 2009, working on Fela? Was it in 2010, when I worked on two Broadway shows, worked outside of the country, and also went to the Tony Awards and was a part of the design team that won a Tony? Now that I’m in Portland, and the design opportunities are slim, is my creative peak (and life) behind me?

For Four, what if this really is just a stop along the way? What is this preparing me for? Could this really be an extended “freelance move,” in the fact that I know my time with this company is only going to be for a few years maximum… because I fear if I stay here too long, my horizons will grow incredibly small?

For Five, what if I’m chasing a windmill with this Immersive Theater stuff? I think I’m onto something. I think I could do this stuff. What if I never find other people who want to work with me?

What if people don’t want to work with me?

Why wouldn’t people want to work with me?

How did I get here?

Anyway, I think I need something to happen soon in my life. Being bored at work is not good for my self-esteem!

I need a boyfriend or more friends or different friends or money to do my own work…

Maybe I’ll make some coffee in the meantime?

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