The morning after the Tony Awards, and my heart aches to see so many of my New York City friends celebrating.
Anyway, I’m still here. And they’re there. And I’ll keep going.
Date: June 8, 2015
Days Spent on Project: 839
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: The next people to come on board The California Project, as it stumbled towards something, were student sound designers. Well, I think one of the two was a sound designer. The other was an acting student? Who was good friends with the sound designer?
Before I flew out to Los Angeles, Vinnie and I were having casual production meetings and check-ins via Skype, in addition to the slew of long-winded emails I’d send almost daily. The third, and probably most real Skype production meeting happened a week or two before I flew out to the west coast. This one was different though. Instead of me sitting at my desk, staring at my MacBook, alone, there were two UCI students in the City at the time. Vinnie asked if it would be okay if they met up with me- at my apartment- to join in the production meeting.
And, one extremely rainy evening, those two students got on the A train and went all the way up to 181st Street, to head to my apartment. That’s when I first met Karli B.
Karli B. was the student sound designer, in her final year (and semester) at UCI. That this would be her last project, I think, at the school, was pretty great. Why not go out with a bang into the unknown by working on something so unknown?
The production meeting was interesting. We now had a large group of student designers in the (virtual) room, all vaguely familiar with The Backstory, and even more vaguely aware of something called Immersive Theater. Karli, and her friend, had just seen Sleep No More on their trip to the city. They… they were excited.
When the workshop happened, Karli took charge of a lot of the technical aspects of the sound design. Borrowing the equipment we could from the university. Setting up pods of sound. Cabling all of them together. Some of her sound design compatriots took over the design end for the project.
Karli’s enthusiasm and dedication was very much appreciated by Vinnie and me.
She’s now based in Chicago, finding work in that city. She’s making it work.
Music I listened to while sewing: The Original Broadcast Recording for Fun Home, which won the Tony for Best New Musical. “Ring of Keys” is getting me a little emotional this morning.
That is a victory.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I tried to stay off Facebook yesterday. I failed, but I did try.
It still pains me to see so many of my friends (at least online anyway) excited and proud to be a part of the “Broadway community.” It pains me because I know that I was a small part of that for a very brief moment of time, from 2009 to 2012. And now, in 2015, I no longer am.
It’s weird to think: I know those people; they technically know me; and I’ve worked with or by or around some of them.
But I moved onto something else. I have to tell myself that I did not end now that I’m no longer a part of that community.
(Who knows… maybe I’ll get back in there someday?)
But, for now, my community is here in Portland. Or better yet, I’m here in Portland and trying to create a community and weighing the community in front of me. It can be mine if I want it. I can be theirs if they want. If not, I know I have the power and ability to find or make my own where I need it.
And that’s a great feeling, too. Despite feeling adrift from one group, I know and have to understand that I am capable of finding one. I am worth being a part of one.
It’s important to remember that you are worth a community.