Thursday, and all quiet on the (Pacific North) western front.
Date: May 7, 2015
Days Spent on Project: 807
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: Cat C.
Cat was the other young woman who wrote, produced, and brought to life the web-series Oh, Liza. I was introduced to her (and Kaitlin) one Saturday morning at Think Coffee near Union Station. I really liked them, I liked the scripts they had written. I liked their energy.
Again, meeting with my friend Ellie H., after that meeting, I was hesitant about doing the project. I mean, no pay? And no budget? And a two week shoot schedule? I couldn’t afford to have my dog babysat for that length of time if I wasn’t making any money. (We negotiated that I’d do all the preliminary work– finding costume needs, meeting with all the actors, but then handing the work over to a wardrobe person that they were hiring to help with things on set.) In the end, I agreed. Because I did like the people (check), I did like the script (check), I wanted “film” experience (check). The money… well, who does it for the money?
Anyway, I enjoyed the experience (the part I was around for) and I liked the process and the product (which doesn’t always happen).
This week, these past few Cranes, I’ve been noticing how the period of 2013 that was good was the time when I was involved with people trying to make something happen… something that they were passionate about… that they wanted to realize. The shows that “had money” were the bad experiences: one production decided they didn’t want to pay me and that I should donate my time, another fired me, another was a group of people I should have been concerned about.
I was prouder to be involved with projects that were happening because of hard work, dedication, passion, and FUN.
As I keep thinking about The California Project that happened last year, I have to remind myself a few things. Yes, it might not turn into anything. Yes, it might be hard work. Yes, what I can actually do may not be what I dream of doing. Yes, it might just be a pipe dream.
But why not?
Music I listened to while sewing: I had some House music on while I was sewing this… I know we’ve got Pandora on in the shop this morning, but I can’t tell what’s playing now.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: To continue the above thread…
Something will never happen if you don’t take that first step.
If you don’t write that word or send that email or edit that writing.
You gotta keep trying. Even if it turns into something I only do as a hobby. Even if it turns into something that never sees the life of day. I gotta keep trying.
I don’t think I’m chasing a windmill here. I really don’t.
I think I might be doing something cool.
I just need to make my opportunity happen, and I have no idea how to do that in Portland.
Time to learn.