Block 648: May 2, 2015

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Might have had a bit of a hangover this morning. Oops.

Date: May 2, 2015

Crane: 648

Days Spent on Project: 802

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: Thinking about all those directors I worked with that week I attended the Lincoln Center Lab 2013… The first director I will thank is Erika.

I don’t remember her name.

She was from Africa, and was visiting the country solely for this experience. Thinking back on that, I see how determined and dedicated she was to creating theater and making herself a better artist.

From her, I think I should learn to be more determined, to take a risk, to follow opportunity, and go where you feel you need to go. Even if it feels a little financially unstable or uncertain or tenuous.

Go for the opportunity. Try to make the opportunity happen.

At the end of that week with the Lincoln Center Lab, we had to work individually with three of the directors to pitch a theoretical production of the play we had been studying for the past five days. I wasn’t sure what I was getting into with Erika; when she talked about the play, nothing easily jumped into my head as far as a setting or the characters we needed to create. But, I spent some time thinking and discussing it with her and, by the end, I believe she and I came up with some interesting ideas that were based on the work of Ann Hamilton. I hadn’t ever been aware of Ann Hamilton’s work before, so I consider it a win that I learned about her pieces.

This project was also still in it’s infancy (I was about 5 months into it at that point), and that’s when I started to piece together how these 1000 Cranes could become some sort of installation somewhere… and if it were to become that, how would that effect the choices I was to make?

Music I listened to while sewing: I still have McQueen runway shows playing on Youtube for inspiration this morning.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: The weekend! Finally!

We start previews on the tenth show of the season (only one more to go!), and it’s been so minimal with its needs that I’m not sure how much I need to be involved today. I’m at work, but I don’t get the impression I need to be… I may go home?

Here’s a question that I’ve been stewing over recently… maybe I wasn’t ever meant to be a costume designer? Maybe this has all been a mistake?

There’s a part of me that loves the challenge of designing. I like building a character with clothes. I like working in theater. But maybe this isn’t it for me?

There’s an internet meme going around that says artists are an equal part unbridled egotism and crippling insecurity. I’m falling on the insecure side today.

Why am I a shop manager? Would I have made a good teacher? Would I have been a good designer if I kept at in New York?

I think I should take a walk outside in this glorious Portland weather and clear my head for a bit.

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