Daylight Saving Time! It’s almost 7pm and it’s still light outside!
Date: March 8, 2015
Days Spent on Project: 747
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: When they were remounting A Chorus Line, the shop manager who had hired me to assist the costume designer, also hired two other assistants. I’m not sure what they’re titles were, or what they were hired to do specifically, but they were there for the process with me.
I don’t know what happened exactly, but the group dynamic– for whatever reason– was horribly off. I felt it most because it affected me most. It quickly became apparent that I was going to assist everyone there, and all the responsibilities that I thought I would do as the design assistant evaporated.
Go shopping for costumes? Nope; the designer didn’t want me to. Take care of the shoes? Nope; one of the other assistants took that from me. Take care of the fittings? Nope; I was just left to take the clothes in and out of the room. I don’t know what my job was with that show. For a show that came to the shop in boxes and plastic bins and was “ready to go” for the most part, I can safely say there were too many cooks trying to stir the soup.
And I don’t think anyone was happy that there were so many of us.
The first of those other assistants was John S. He was a die hard fan of the show, and several people in it. He knew backstory behind the show, gossip about the original production and the revival, and where to find videos and clips of those productions. And it was great to hear someone who was so enchanted with the show talk about it, and see him work on it.
He was a fun guy to get to know.
Music I listened to while sewing: Since I’m binge-watching House Of Cards on Netflix– and have been doing so for the past week– I found the second season’s music on Spotify. I love the opening theme to it all!
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I started doing my taxes last night. Which was strangely much easier than it’s been in 10 years. Getting a W2 with all the taxes taken out already is so much simpler than having to get all your 1099s in order and then all the receipts that were work expenses sorted.
Going through a year’s worth of receipts is always fun for me. I enjoy going through them and remembering the stories behind the purchases. Last year, strangely enough, I was only in New York for four months. I was in LA for a bit, then Arkansas for a month, Virginia for a few weeks and then I moved to Portland QUICKLY.
I can’t believe how much my life has changed. That doing my taxes made me see the concrete proof: my life is 100% different than it was a year ago. Case in point, a year ago, I was designing costumes for two dance pieces and not getting paid for it and working with no budget to speak of. I was purchasing books on Immersive Theater and Viewpoints, in preparation for my trip to UCI the following month.
While I was actually destitute a year ago, I was working on something that I was genuinely passionate about– that theater project for California. While I was frequently terrified that I wasn’t going to survive and thrive in New York City, it was my home for the moment. While I was often alone, I was surrounded by activity and the energy of that city.
I’m not sure I would ever reverse the trip that I did last summer. I’m not sure that I would drop everything to move back to New York without a job waiting for me. I’m positive that I don’t want to be that poor ever again.
I just have to find a way to get passionate about something again. I have to start finding my own exciting projects on the side; I’m sad to say I’ll probably not get passionate about the work the theater does here… it’s not worth it to invest much in it, from the routines and patterns that are very obvious to me now.
So, if I stay in Portland beyond this season, if this is where my Life says I need to be for the moment, I have to figure out a way to make some passionate work here. I can’t let myself give up here.