Block 622: March 5, 2015

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It’s 2:30 in the afternoon and I’m so tired and I just realized I haven’t had any coffee yet today.

Date: March 5, 2015

Crane: 622

Days Spent on Project: 744

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: Tony Y.

When I worked on that production of White Christmas, I will always remember working with Tony, one of the leads and a hot performer on Broadway. We started to remount the production in October of 2011, we were given access to all the clothes that were made for the Broadway production and the subsequent national tours.

Tony had performed the role before, I believe. Or maybe he hadn’t. And maybe that’s why he was so specific?

I’m glad to have worked with him though. I’ll always remember him and his work specifically.

Music I listened to while sewing: “Atmospheric Calm” today on Spotify. More specifically, the song “They Disappear Into The Palms.”

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I had my first moment of “Oh God, what did I start?” last night.

I’m being interviewed for another job. One happened a week ago, and I was emailed yesterday that I’d be asked for a second interview with a different group of people. Last year, the interview process happened incredibly quickly. This time, it’s already been going on for a month.

I’m worried now for a variety of reasons.

Would I want to uproot my life completely again and move halfway across the country again?

What if that city’s no better than Portland?

What if I’m not ready for that kind of promotion?

What if I didn’t give Portland enough of a chance?

What if this IS it?

What if this is my opportunity?

What do I want?

What is opportunity?

What do I hope to accomplish? experience? do? see?

What if that’s it?

What if things *could* get better here?

What if I just haven’t found the reason why people think Portland’s so cool yet?

What if next season will be better, not worse?

What if all those veiled warnings about next season don’t actually happen?

What would it be like to work with a fully staffed shop again?

What if what if what if.

I guess, in the end, it’s always helpful to interview when you can to keep yourself fresh and aware of your skills and your worth.

The opportunity arose, so why not? When I worked freelance, it was always about following the next opportunity and trying to make something happen.

I guess I’m still, first and foremost, a freelancer at heart. I’m always thinking about The Next.

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