Block 564: December 29, 2014


Can you believe that in three days, it’ll be the first day of January in 2015?

Date: December 29, 2014

Crane: 564

Days Spent on Project: 679

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: A few years ago, when I was hired to design a second production for the Yale Dramat, I made a big decision. It’s one of two decisions made in my adult life, that I wish I could take back.

I wish I had taken more of a second to breathe, and realize who I was working with. I wish I had taken a second to walk out of the room, roll my eyes, and then head back to work.

Tom R. was the director of that production. Out of “all the applicants” who applied to design the costumes for the show, I was chosen. Leading up to the actual show and its rehearsal process, Tom and I seemed to be on board for the visual of the show. It was going to be big. At one point, there were easily over 50 people involved, needing at least one or two costume pieces. So, yeah, it was going to be big. And there, of course, was very little (i.e. hardly any) budget set aside for it.

Tom is an ambitious, young, and energetic director. I think he’s very driven.

Somewhere along the line, definitely during the rehearsal process, something happened that snapped me out of the job. It could have been the realization that there was no support. It could have been the consistency of the performers involved about not showing up for fittings. It could have been the time crunch I was in. It could have been the assistant who mysteriously was never available to do any work.

I left the production. Tom and I talked, admittedly, heatedly and in the moment. I said, knowing the situation, that it was probably best for me not to be involved.

And that was rash. And I felt good about it. I didn’t regret it. (After all, I had already been burned by the Dramat once.) I wasn’t willing to go through that experience again, and I saw the same stuff coming.

So, for abandoning Tom, and his better professionalism about the experience, I would have to send a Crane. Maybe as penance. Maybe as a sad way of saying sorry.

Music I listened to while sewing: After a full weekend of Into The Woods, I’m taking a break. Today, I’m listening to the Sleep No More soundtrack again…

Remember how last year I worked the SNM Halloween and New Year’s Eve parties? Guess who got an email asking if I was available to work it again this year. Sadly, even that wouldn’t be worth the 3000 mile trip and the plane ticket right now.

Although it would be fun.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: A Facebook friend yesterday posted an article listing five reasons to leave New York City. He posted it, adding that he really wanted to but didn’t know if he had the courage to.

Several other friends of his commented to just do it, that things are better elsewhere… the usual.

Gave me pause to read the article. Maybe it’s better that I’m gone for now. Maybe it was time to leave. Maybe, as much as I like to think there were opportunities there, just maybe the opportunity New York was giving me was to get out, and find a job like this.

Anyway, I’m having a hard time staying motivated today. Even though it was just a four day weekend, and there’s plenty of stuff to work on, I’m really not succeeding in keeping my head in the present moment and in the game. Maybe more coffee. Maybe a cookie.

Off to find stimulus.

3 thoughts on “Block 564: December 29, 2014

  1. Change is always tough. I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately, dreaming about it even. You’re brave. Expect to be mournful but there is a reason you’re there. If that’s false, you can move again later. Very few decisions are really final, just paths.

    • I like how you stated that… I need to remind myself that nothing is ever really permanent in life. I’m anchored by nothing right now (other than my dog!), so I should always have the power to decide where I need to be and go. Change is hard, yes. I needed a big change last summer, and I got it. Now that I’ve got my head screwed on straight again, we’ll see where I go.

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