Block 556: December 21, 2014

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I just realized there are, what, ten days left in 2014. How can that be exactly?

Date: December 21, 2014

Crane: 556

Days Spent on Project: 671

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: Back in early 2011, when I started my blog, of course I would post updates or links to it on Facebook. It only helped boost “traffic” to it a little bit, but my good friend Courtney B. outside Philadelphia noticed it and reached out one day.

A very good friend of hers, Stephen L., had recently moved to New York and took a job working in a law firm, to pursue his dreams of hopefully working in New York. He had also recently started a blog about living in New York; his particular angle was trying to date as a gay man successfully in New York. It seemed appropriate that she introduce both of us. We could trade blog stories, make friends, and so on.

And so, after an introduction online– through Facebook– Stephen and I met at a bar in Hell’s Kitchen one cold January night in 2011. He was a great person to meet then, and he was very driven to experience his new city and take advantage of all the things New York could offer- the theater, the social events, work. He was looking for a boyfriend pretty seriously at the time and, looking at him, you got the impression he wouldn’t be single- or at least lonely- for long.

He’s the kind of guy who knows so many people, and who people want to know in return. (I have thought I should try to be more like him in Portland, but Portland doesn’t seem to be agreeing with that.)

I would say that we would hang out fairly regularly in 2011 but, as he found his own niche and interests, his group of friends went in a different direction than mine.

I don’t think he still blogs about his dating adventures. I’m not sure if he’s taken that goal down a few notches in life-priorities. But, I do gather than he’s pretty much in love with the city and enjoys it still. Plus, he also adopted a shelter dog recently who’s incredibly adorable and pretty much head over heels in love with him. From the pictures Stephen posts on Facebook, I’m fairly certain he feels the same way about his dog.

Music I listened to while sewing: Since news spread that Madonna was releasing 6 songs from an upcoming album “immediately” to prevent an internet leak, I’ve been trying to find those six songs and listen to them. (I’ve learned that my 5 year old Macbook Pro’s operating system is so out of date that it can’t load iTunes anymore unless I update everything… why does everything require MONEY and/or an overhaul right now?) SO, instead of listening to brand new Madonna, I’m listening to Classic Madonna this morning.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Ten more days in 2014, guys.

A year ago, I was starting to work on an upcoming production of Pippin. I was getting ready to do an “easy” web-series (for no money, but FOR exposure!). I was also gearing up to work at another party at the McKittrick Hotel, where Sleep No More performs, for New Year’s.

Jeez, how much has my life changed this year? Someone in my costume shop mentioned last week that 2014 hadn’t been a particularly great year for her. I thought about it. Has 2014 been great or good or bad or mediocre?

I guess My 2014 is beyond those adjectives… it’s really just underscored how much life can change, how quickly it can change, how drastically it can change, how change is good and welcome and needed.

But also how change isn’t always the end. It’s not a destination. I’m here, but I’m now, more than ever, aware that I’m not done or at my end point. I’m more aware because of my time in Portland that I will go somewhere else at some point. I don’t know where, but this change has opened my eyes to a lot.

Yeah, I guess I needed the time away from New York to re-evaluate my life and my feelings and what I was wanting to do. Back in June, I was convinced I was done with Costume Design– but not theater. Now, I realize I was just done with the kind of work I was accepting. I thought I was done with New York. I now realize I probably just needed to re-evaluate how I was living there.

I’m remembering how young I am. I’m only 35 years old, which is SO NOT old. I’m learning that this doesn’t have to be the “final” choice in my career or life; it’s just another chapter in a book that’s writing itself daily. Yes, I know that my attitude that “Portland isn’t for very long” is probably keeping me from being seduced by it, but I’ve seen a fair amount already that has me wondering why I would stay here long term. I’m questioning how much I gave up by this 3000 mile journey versus how much I gained.

We’ll see.

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