Block 511: November 6, 2014

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Payday.

Date: November 6, 2014

Crane: 511

Days Spent on Project: 626

Location: NW Portland, OR

Person I would have sent it to: When Alison folded me into more of her social group back in 2009, one of the other ladies that I met was named Marianna C.

She was another actress- I should mention that almost all of these friends were theater-bent; Alison had originally met them at a summer internship at the Hanger Theater in NY.

One of the first times I met Marianna, she arrived wearing a fully fringed dress (were we at a costume party? I don’t think so…) and had a glorious attitude about her. She seemed like a (healthy) version of Zelda Fitzgerald, only in Jersey City.

A few years ago, maybe in 2010, she applied to go to grad school for acting at Columbia in New York. She was accepted, and from what I’ve heard, she had a great time and worked on a lot of really intense and challenging shows. She graduated last spring, and I think she also made the realization that maybe she should try another part of the country for a spell… take a break from New York.

While I was prepping to move to Portland this past summer, she was also prepping to move to Los Angeles. I think she’s really enjoying it out there. She gives off the appearance that she’s happy and working towards a goal.

Music I listened to while sewing: Today, it’s The Ronettes, specifically “Be My Baby.” It’s on repeat.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: You know, at the end of the day, with all the change that’s going on and promises to keep going on in my life for the moment, at least I still have these Cranes.

It’s making me sad. Sure, I have 489 more to go (still a lot!), but after that? Who’s to say that after the initial 1000, there isn’t someone else I meet later on who should have been a Crane? Or maybe I’ll keep meeting people who deserve to be included here for the rest of my life?

I started this project in 2013, when I was 34. If I had managed to do one of these every day for 1000 days, that would have taken me almost to 2016. I wouldn’t have even been 37 upon finished Phase 1 of this project. So, realistically, this project will only define/describe/mark/symbolize, a very specific time in my life… bridging the freelance design years in Washington Heights and then the transformation into working at a regional theater and then to…?

I’m aware that my life should continue on after these initial 1000 Cranes and that I may look back (later in my life) and realize, HE should have been included. SHE should have been included. THAT COMPANY should have been included.

This, of course, presumes that I will be able to think of 1000 people to thank in the next 489 days. What if I run out of meaningful people in my life? Do I pause the project and only add to it when I discover someone “Crane-worthy?”

I keep joking, with this First Phase and then the Second Phase (“putting it together… bit by bit”), that it’s going to take me the rest of my life to complete. And it’s not a joke. It will be a life long autobiography that I’m stitching together with fat quarters and thread and blog and Tumblr entries online. To encompass what I wanted it to encompass, I can’t realistically say, “When I hit 1000 in 489 days, it will be done.”

I shouldn’t have an end date in mind.

The first phase should finish when it needs to. When it wants to.

The second phase should finish as soon as I can carefully consider the shape of my life and how I want to put it together. And, I need to do it well.

No one wants their life to remembered with pulled thread or wrinkled seams.

Although, I guess there is a kind of artistry in letting the mistakes and ebbs and flows show too.

 

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