Date: October 26, 2014
Days Spent on Project: 615
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: It seems odd to be talking about working on the Broadway production of Come Fly Away and not thank the person steering the ship.
I can’t say before the production, I was a huge devotee of her work, but I did know of it and appreciate it and admire it.
She’s an incredible artist with a slew of accomplishments that are… to at the least… inspiring. And, for a very brief moment in time, I was someone whose name she knew, and I got to work under her. (As the Shoe Guy, a small capacity, sure, but still I was around her!)
I need to pick up a copy of her book and read it.
Music I listened to while sewing: Spotify’s playlist “Dancefloor.” Oddly enough, the song playing right now is called “Pushing on.”
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Well, here it is, everyone… the 500th Crane, in all it’s batik glory. I chose to make something a little splashier for today’s occasion (I had originally paired an olive and grey combo this morning), since so many people regarded this as a milestone in the journey. (“I’m so nervous to see tomorrow’s!”)
And I have to say, thinking back on this project, I can’t tell you how much it’s now serving as a testament to how much life can change, how the universe can sense your dissatisfaction with the current state of your day to day doings, and possibly even deliver an solution or a shoulder to lean on when you need it. I started this project in Washington Heights, in New York and have taken it to Virginia, Arkansas, Los Angeles, Rhode Island, and in a few more places throughout those 615 days. On February 18, 2013, I was sitting in my apartment, during a snowstorm, when I sat myself down at my sewing machine and said, “It’s not going to start itself.” I had been piecing the project together for a few months in my mind, and had repeatedly put it off because the logistics of it seemed overwhelming.
But, you know, one day at a time. (And a lot of fat quarters along the way)
615 days ago, I was working as a freelance designer in New York, now I’m settling into Portland, OR as a part of a regional theater.
I was in such a dull pain in New York; looking back, I can see that I wasn’t happy, and it seems so obvious from what I had been writing while doing this project. I had accepted that things- if Life continued along the path that it had chosen- were going to be teasingly handed to me piece by piece, always with the veiled promise of more opportunities possibly coming my way if I stayed and duked it out. I was tired of that, and getting increasingly down about that, and using myself as a punching bag to make those emotions bearable.
And, as unsettled and unanchored I feel here in Portland right now, I will be honest and say that I no longer feel like I’m in pain. Or that I lack control over what should be a fairly basic thing: life… or Life. I do feel like I’ve got some kind of control now. I can’t tell you the last time I felt that way.
If it’s taken me 615 days to get this far (with this project), I have no idea how long it will take me to finish the remaining 500. And that’s okay. Why rush the process?
But let’s see when and where and what Life is then.
Again, one day at a time.