I’m posting this from work. Wow.
Date: October 8, 2014
Days Spent on Project: 597
Location: NW Portland, OR
Person I would have sent it to: Fela! (the show) was such a turning point for me, and my “career,” and my time in New York City.
Working on my first Broadway show, as a union design assistant, I suddenly had a regular influx of cash (and a set amount!) coming in weekly for the first time in… well… ever? (I now get a paycheck every two weeks, and the novelty and excitement of seeing an amount of money just automatically appear in my checking account [yay, direct deposit!] still hasn’t worn off yet. I still can’t believe that now happens as a part of my life…)
Because of that experience, things changed. I learned a lot. I felt (financially) comfortable. I felt creatively stimulated as we brought those drawn designs to life on actual performers and then saw the positive responses from audiences start coming in. Emotionally, I was still a little raw; this being mid to late 2009, I was still broiling in heartache. Jimmy (Crane #445) had broken up with my months prior and I was navigating New York City alone for the first time in what felt like an eternity.
These two things- the regular paychecks at a Union rate and the vacuum that felt so very present in my heart that entire year- made me choose to do something that’s still a very dominant and needed presence in my life.
I decided I was going to get a dog.
I don’t know how I decided for it to be a French Bulldog. I had never met one before. I had never played with one before. I hadn’t even seen them in real life before. But, for some reason, I was drawn to THAT dog and I tentatively started to look at Frenchies and breeders online, under cover of the night’s and my feeling’s nightly darkness. And then one night, I started emailing breeders and groups and clubs and websites, trying to find a litter that might have the dog for me.
Suffice it to say, the process wasn’t easy or quick. With opening a Broadway show and then locating a breeder who was “affordable” and would be willing to adopt one and was also within easy traveling distance, it took me the remaining months of 2009 to secure my French Bulldog- Brady.
So, today’s Crane has to be dedicated to the woman who responded to my email, saying that she had one pup left. He was a bit old by then- five months- as I guess the previous person who wanted to adopt him changed his or her mind at the last minute. He was deemed “shy” and “nervous” around people, wouldn’t be a good show dog as he was hoped to be, and would need someone to be a little patient with him.
This breeder was located not nearby, but in Tennessee, so I drove out there with my parents in mid December in a snow storm to pick my dog up. I told myself I didn’t have to adopt this dog if it didn’t feel right. Nothing was binding me to him.
But I was bound to him and I did adopt him and it’s been a crazy fun five years since.
I joke that we’re a co-dependent old couple now. I’m more than fine with that… usually.
So, Crane #482 is for Theresa in Tennessee.
Music I listened to while sewing: I really like the group Tycho these days. I’m listening to a song called “Awake.”
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Today, I’m telling myself that it’s okay for there to be slow days at work.
Having a job to go to everyday, with people in a shop “underneath” you, is a new experience.
Need to remind myself improvements won’t happen quickly or over night.
I feel like there’s a lot of improving to be made here, or at least strengthening.
And we’ll get it there. All I can do is keep my expectations and standards and hope.