Jeez, Louise. What do I want to say today?
Date: June 6, 2014
Days Spent on Project: 473
Location: Conway, Arkansas. (Less than a week to go!)
Person I would have sent it to: Roy G.
He was the first General Manager for Broadway Productions with whom I worked on the off-Broadway production of Fela! back in 2008.
I keep thinking back to that production — Fela! in its off-Broadway life and then the subsequent Broadway transfer — and keep realizing how integral that experience was to my life in New York and my “career” as a theater designer. It was so eye-opening how much work was needed to get a show of that scale up and running; yes, I’d worked on large productions before at regional theaters, but trying to create something from scratch in New York can almost feel like climbing Mount Everest.
Music I listened to while sewing: Today, I’m listening to the washing machine as my clothes are cleaned. Awesome stuff.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Several things happened yesterday that weren’t UNdramatic.
I don’t even know what to say about this experience right now… I think yesterday was the day when I felt a sense of disappointment with the situation.
The show will go on. The show will come together like it always does. The cast and director will come together with all the technical elements, and we’ll create some art. But I don’t feel a sense of pride in the work I’m doing right now.
It will be fine. It will be done. I wish I could be more specific than this, but I won’t.
But, I also did something major last night… I actually spoke the words “I’m not heading back to New York” out loud to two friends last night.
I think this experience here in Arkansas has just confirmed that it’s not only time for a break , it’s time for a new direction. If anything, this time in Arkansas was helpful in making this decision.
More to follow.