Today is my last morning in LA. I’m actually really upset about this.
Date: May 12, 2014
Days Spent on Project: 449
Location: West Hollywood, CA
Person I would have sent it to: Sharyon C.
During the summer of 2007, when I was designed three shows for Peninsula Players, I had the opportunity to work with Sharyon on the middle production- Little Shop of Horrors.
She was cast as one of the three Narrators/Chorus Girls. (For the life of me, I can’t remember which one.) I ended up dressing her in a pair of vintage denim capris and a plaid shirt for the book scenes. When the trio of girls would narrate through song, they were seen in a seemingly unending parade of fancier dresses. (I thought that idea was fun, and we kinda made it all look good, despite the amount of work that went into that.)
Sharyon was a fun energy to have at Pen Players. The three actresses they cast were actually very much appreciated as people and cast members while I was there.
Music I listened to while sewing: No music. I’m just listening to the birds chirp outside. I’m trying to soak all those ambient sounds in before I head to the airport in two hours.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Yeah, I’m heading to the LA airport in two hours. In a little over 4 hours, I’ll be flying across the country to the next stop on my long working vacation- Arkansas.
The last time I went to Arkansas for this upcoming production of Pippin, my flights were unfortunately all delayed and I ended up having to spend a day and a night in the Atlanta airport since there were no hotels to sleep in. It’s crazy to think that experience was now over four months ago; I can remember clearly how frustrating it was and how helpless I felt as I tried to sleep on a floor in the Atlanta Delta terminal.
It really is crazy to think how long ago, but also how recent, that was. I think I had just made my 300th Crane then.
And, really, I’m actually really upset about having to leave LA. I’ve been thinking about why I’m so unsettled by this.
This would be my 17th day here. Of those 17 days, I’ve not been alone for more than a few hours at a time. I was almost always with someone else. I worked on this round of The California Project with my partner-in-crime. I would eat dinners with him usually. I would meet up with the friend I’m staying with in LA on the weekends for evenings out. I tried to explore some “LA things” whenever I had the chance. I was around people.
In New York, I feel like there are days where the only conversations I have are between myself and my dog.
The weather here is glorious. New York, before I came here, was still bouncing back and forth between cold and gray to wet and gray. It was pouring rain when I left NYC. It had snowed the week prior. Here, it’s just been sunny… all the time… and blue skies… all the time.
I’m nervous about the upcoming project. I shouldn’t be any more specific about why I’m nervous, but know that I am.
I have just over four more weeks before I’m reunited with the dog, before Pippin opens, and before I can head back to NYC. I have a lot of thinking to do and a lot of big decisions to make. I feel like one decision has to be made before (and acted upon) by the end of May. That gives me 18 days, I think, to weigh the repercussions of that choice.
It will be big, sure, but with all the anxiety dreams I’ve been having for months, knowing how unsettled and unhappy I feel most days, and realizing that I feel somewhat RELIEVED and THANKFUL WHEN I THINK ABOUT MAKING THIS DECISION… it seems like it’s time to own up and make it.
Having very frequent dreams of losing my teeth in a variety of situations… it’s just time to say yes or no.
Okay, I get to pack my stuff back up. Here’s hoping my two flights go smoothly today!