I keep thinking it’s Friday. It’s not.
This is actually a good thing.
Date: April 10, 2014
Days Spent on Project: 417
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Brent S.
My first year at the Brown/Trinity Rep Consortium, Brent was an production intern working directly under Timothey S. He was always there to help get things done, and keep Tim sane throughout the process.
No small feat, that.
After his time with the program, he would move up to Boston with his girlfriend. He would go back to school, for architecture. I assumed he would stay on the east coat, but I think he now lives in San Francisco… I’m not sure what’s keeping him busy these days either.
Music I listened to while sewing: Today, Spotify suggested Phutureprimitive. After binge-listening to Postmodern Jukebox all day yesterday, it’s not quite what I want, but I don’t want to get stuck in another music rut.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Yesterday, in my attempt to keep myself busy, I decided to STOP waiting to hear back from the choreographers that I’m working with in New Jersey. I have solid ideas of what clothes I want to get for their pieces, so I went downtown and started hunting for those ideas in the cheaper stores.
For the record, when a production company puts you in a double-bind-design situation (“Here’s money we’ve decided it should take to dress these performers; whatever’s left is your fee! And also, we won’t provide your transportation or wardrobe supplies. Good luck!”), you’re kinda forced to shop as cheap as possibly. It’s not that I’m purposefully being cheap. Lord knows if I had more money to work with- even if they just gave me a flat fee or covered my transportation- the clothes I’d be buying would be THAT much better, but… You do what you can.
That’s a big lesson I’m learning actually- how to survive and take care of my physical and emotional being first, and then making a design happen. Yes, I always want my work to look good but, at a certain point, if you’re not given the resources you need to do the work needed or the support, why should I slave away on something for nothing?
I worry that those feelings make me a bad, or subpar, designer. But, I’m starting to realize it makes me a better one.
Unfortunately, there will always be a 22 year old who will work for free and do it “for the exposure.” I’m no longer 22, and I don’t want to live like one anymore.
Again, I tell myself, if I don’t give myself and my work the credit I *know* they should get, who else is going to?
If that makes me difficult, so be it.
Okay, off to the dog park!