There are mornings when I stare at my growing stack of Crane blocks and I really can’t believe that I’m doing this.
Date: March 16, 2014
Days Spent on Project: 392
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: John S.
John was another one of the Technical Design and Production Students at the Yale School of Drama. He was in my year, so I had three years to get to know him.
My first year, one of my classmates (the lighting designer named Cat), started spending time with him. They were friends, of course.
They’re now married and have a child together.
John, my third year, was the technical director of Sleeping Beauty, that Yale Cabaret production, by Elfriede Jelinek. He made two plexiglass and metal structures, put them on wheel, and that was our set. He helped to create a light wall that stood behind us, as our back wall. I believe he also worked on making it possible to get projection and video equipment, so we could use multi-media during the performance.
Two and a half years later, he was in charge of getting those metal structures out of storage and down to New York so we could rehearse for the production that we were taking to South Korea. He then made sure everything got from our rehearsal space over to Seoul. I have no idea how he and the producer managed that.
Over in South Korea, John was our one man technical department, for the most part working with a crew of young theater students who volunteered to help. I think one of those students spoke English. How he managed to get the show up and running in a day and reproduce what we did in a basement theater years prior also amazes me.
I’m actually glad Cat and John married and are together. They always seemed like they would make a good pair, you know?
Music I listened to while sewing: I’ve got Kronos Quartet on this morning! And so I’m reliving the days of old when I was a student at Kenyon and took dance classes and all my dancer-friends would use Kronos’s music for their pieces… because it was instrumental and emotional and therefore brilliant.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Maybe I have put all my eggs in one basket.
I don’t know.
I hope to keep designing. I want to keep working in theater. I want to keep doing this.
I feel like I have a lot to give and could do a lot.
I went to the gym yesterday and ran 7.5 miles in an hour. In the past, that was a slower pace for me; at my best, I could get over 8 miles in an hour. But for some reason, my muscles now get more tired during and after the run than they’ve ever felt in a long while. I know this means I just need to be patient and keep at it. I just need to rethink my gym routine. Instead of running every day at that pace, break it up with different cardio routines until I’m able to run as hard as I want without drying myself out in the process. Take a day to work hard, take another to rebuild and relax, but keep going for it.
I don’t consider my 8 plus miles a day a sprint. I know it’s a part of a daily marathon I run for myself… to stay lean, to work off frustrations, to do something active instead of sitting at a drawing desk or computer all day. It’s something I do now because I feel better because of it and I don’t know how else to exist.
I don’t think I’d be happy at all with myself or with life if I had to give up the gym or running.
So, I have to understand that, for whatever reason, my body gets tired right now while and after a run. But I still have to keep at it.
I have to keep at it.