Block 356: February 26, 2014

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More snow today.

Sadness.

Date: February 26, 2014

Crane: 356

Days Spent on Project: 374

Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC

Person I would have sent it to: Elizabeth B.

Elizabeth is the Wardrobe Supervisor at the Yale Repertory Theatre, and I had the awesome fortune to work for her each of those three years. My first year, I was the Assistant Costume Designer on the final Rep show of the year; the show was modern and small in scale, so I didn’t get to spend much time around her. My second year, I assisted her (for work-study) on the final show of the year, the world premiere of August Wilson’s final play, Radio Golf. Again, it wasn’t a large show, but I worked directly under her, helping wash and prep the clothes, helping the actors change their clothes, and washing red paint out of a pair of white overalls every night with detergent and a toothbrush. (Awesome) My third year, I again assisted her (for my work-study credit) on a BEAST of a show… There were two of us on crew with her, and it seemed like we were changing someone’s clothes every other minute backstage.

I consider Elizabeth to be one of the best friends I made when I was studying at the Yale School of Drama.

After I graduated with my MFA, she’s one of the few people that I make a point to keep in touch with: I’ve seen plays with her (she took me to Sleep No More for the first time back in 2011!), gone drinking with her, worked with her again, taken her to parties, etc. I think she’s a lovely person; I enjoy her attitude about theater, working in theater, Yale and theater education, and so on.

Having friends like her, makes me wonder and ask myself if I’m not a good enough friend in return. I sometimes think that the reason I don’t have more close friends- or even acquaintances to hang out with- is that I don’t give back well enough… or at all. I know lots of amazing people who do cool things and come from interesting places in the world and in life.

How can I be one of those people?

How can I give back as much as I take or need?

But, here’s a serious question: do I allow myself to take enough of what I need?

Music I listened to while sewing: Today, Spotify suggested that I give Humans a listen to… They only seem to have about three or four albums, half of which are one song-remixes. I haven’t made up my mind about them yet.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Today, I’m nervous.

I think I set something in motion last spring that is about (in about a month and a half) take its first steps. I’ve started to write a play, and a colleague/friend of mine has set up a workshop to figure out the logistics of this play out in California.

I’m supposed to be out there mid-April. There’s already positions filled: a choreographer/movement director, an assistant director, a couple sound designers, a stage manager, and some actors. They’re all volunteering their time based on what they’ve read about this project.

On one hand, it’s awesome. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I set out wanting to create something that excited me, and it turns out there might be other people excited in it as well.

On another hand, it’s daunting. Have I mentioned I design costumes? Sure, I feel like there are times when I could direct the heck out of a show, but do I really know what I’m getting myself into? This is a lot of responsibility.

On yet a third hand, it’s a workshop. I’m doing it to figure out what logistics I should need to think more about and to see if this idea has legs. If I try and it doesn’t work, it’s not a huge deal. I’ll have learned about the process and the product I want and then can redirect my focus if need be. Hey, failure with no real stakes is okay! You can only make yourself smarter and more prepared for the next round!

On a fourth hand, it has me really excited. And I know this sounds like one of those cliched “I have a passion project that I want to realize” productions, but it has me thinking about theater and design and the kind of theater experience I want to create and be a part of. That’s good, right?

So… I’m excited and nervous. Was up for a while last night thinking about it, and am therefore requiring coffee this morning.

There is so much I want to do in life. But, for some reason, I’m not sure if I’m going about it the right way.

Is there a right way to make things happen?

Help.

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