Block 300: December 30, 2013



And I’m at 300 Cranes! Just in time to finish the year!

Date: December 30, 2013

Crane: 300

Days Spent on Project: 317

Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC

Person I would have sent it to: Cait F.

I’m convinced that Cait is one of my best friends on the planet, even though we only lived in the same city for less than a year.

Cait was an intern my first year at Actors Theatre of Louisville; I can’t remember what her official title was, but I think she was the company management intern. She worked with company management, she worked with casting, and she also worked in some of the administrative areas also. Cait, to this day, is personable; she has that quality and she has an ease at bringing people in and opening them up. It’s something I personally don’t think I do very easily. I’m a little envious of that.

Cait, from the fall of 2001 to the spring of 2002 when we went our separate ways, was a solid fixture of my life. I ate dinner in her apartment in the WG more than in my apartment. If I wasn’t hanging out with my boyfriend and, since he was an acting apprentice there were plenty of times when he stuck working at the theater, that was more than a few times. Cait, in fact, helped set us up… or she helped facilitate it. She got us in the same room one night at a party. She started the conversation between us.

Over those nine or ten months, Cait introduced me to retail therapy. She introduced me to home facials and spa treatments. She took me to the Kentucky Derby. She taught me how to bet on horses. She taught me I wasn’t any good at betting on horses. She gave me my first, and last, Mint Julep; she made me realize that I am probably allergic to mint. She made me get to a walk-in clinic (no health insurance), when we realized I was allergic to something in that mint Julep.

I don’t want it to seem like I’m making light of our friendship, because I know how much of a foundation she was during my time in Louisville. After Louisville, she moved back to Florida, where her mother lived, and worked various jobs for a time. She eventually went to England to study Shakespeare. She know lives in Stratford-upon-Avon and is married to a very nice British gentleman and works in Education with the Shakespeare Birth Trust. She’s doing pretty great.

No, she’s doing wonderfully.


Cait, to this day, believes in me. Even if most of the encouragement comes in the annual Christmas Card, Facebook message, or email, she still thinks I’m doing well. And I love her for that.

Anyway, my second year at Actors Theatre wasn’t the same as the first for a variety of reasons, but a major one was that my two partners-in-crime were gone. The city, and the theater, wasn’t the same without them. It eventually would have been, but my first season there was so strongly colored by Cait and my boyfriend that staying there and being without them didn’t seem feasible.

Cait is a really great friend. Everyone should have a friend like Cait.

Music I listened to while sewing: I’ve got a “New Year’s Eve” playlist on this morning, courtesy of Spotify. It’s okay music- a little heavy on the pop. I hope the music at the party I’m at tomorrow is better.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: 38 more hours left in 2013!

I really hope that 2014 is different than 2013. I do not want the energy that seems to be hovering around me this year to stay with me. I want it to go away. I want 2014 to be better.

I don’t make resolutions as a rule, but I want 2014 to be more stable. I want there to be comfort in 2014. I want the uncertainty that I’ve felt so often recently to go away.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot.

I want to get my Mojo back in 2014. I want my self-confidence back. I’m tired of giving other people the ability to take away my self-confidence.

Pardon the French, but I’m pretty freaking awesome and I want the world to know that. I don’t need to take over the world, or sound arrogant; I just want people to recognize that I’m here and I’ve been here and I’m STILL here and I WILL be here. Let me in.

I MYSELF want to recognize that I’m here and I’ve been here and I’m still here and I will be here.

Cheers and here we go.

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