Oh, Today. I needed the shock of color.
Date: December 2, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 289
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Bobb The Hair Guy.
Bobb was the wig designer and builder at Actors Theatre of Louisville when I worked there for two seasons. I don’t know how long he had worked there, but he seemed to be another one of the foundations in the costume & hair departments.
As someone who’s only experience with wigs in college theater design was digging in a box or ordering a plastic creation from a hair supply store, I was shocked to see the process of designing and building wigs up close. Not that every show creation was new; he had amassed a collection of wigs that would get re-fit, re-laced, and re-styled as needed. Knowing how much work goes into building a custom piece, how can you not take a shortcut as needed (especially when you’re the only one in an entire department?).
He taught me a few basic lessons, namely that wig design was about more than color and length. I heard him talk about texture and direction and style. I saw him vent a wig. I even tried to learn from him; trying to tie in individual strands of hair into lace during a slow moment one day.
I didn’t get very far, or do it very well.
But I did learn how much a good wig can help, and certainly how much work goes into a good wig.
Music I listened to while sewing: Oh, again with the pop music and Spotify’s Top Tracks. I also woke up with Anna Kendrick’s cover of “Cups” going through my head. I didn’t even know that I knew her version of that song… but there it was… stuck in my head at 7am.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: My Self has Worth; my worth is more than myself.
Or, is it… My Worth is more than my Self; Myself, I have worth?
I think that last one is what I’m really thinking this morning.
Last night was one of those weird, what’s-going-on, how-am-I-here, this-is-not-what-I-thought-my-adult-life-would-be nights. Nothing bad, of course; I think I’m just growing more into being an adult and making choices and seeing where things go. That’s a natural part of growing up. Isn’t it?
I’m 34 and still trying to figure out what I’m moving towards and what I want and who I am… well, that seems a bit daunting. And humbling. I don’t think we ever truly figure it out. In 20 years, I’m fairly certain that I’ll still be trying to piece this puzzle together.
Or, do we ever just accept the puzzle for what it is, and not worry about sorting through the scattered pieces, trying to make them fit?
Is it okay that I want a complete puzzle? Is it okay that I know I’m not?
I know I have a lot of possibilities. I know the finished puzzle has the potential to be amazing.
I also know that some of my pieces might be missing or damaged or whatever else is appropriate for this analogy.
I want to be okay with that.
And I want someone else to be okay with that too.
Deep Thoughts for a Monday morning… and while I’m listening to One Direction’s “You and I” courtesy of Spotify.
Go get ’em, Tiger.