It’s another Sunday, and we’re all still here. Enjoy today; we’ve got another week ahead to conquer!
Date: September 22, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 217
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Ellie H.
I didn’t meet Ellie until probably my last year with NHSI in 2006, but I feel like it’s appropriate and necessary to thank her today. She and I are working on a web-series right now; we start filming it next weekend and it’s incredibly low budget (“Do It Yourself!” seems to be a common mantra), but it’s turning out to be a great lesson and experience for me.
It’s teaching me to really trust what other people bring to the table. Lacking a fee, much time, and any kind of budget, what else can you do but embrace the outfits and contributions that people bring? Ellie’s been smart and she cast actors who actually fit the roles visually, which is great.
Over the few meetings that we’ve had, I’m really reminded how level-headed and accepting and therefore empowering it is to work with her. I never had the chance to design with her in Chicago at NHSI, the year (or years) we overlapped, she wasn’t asked to direct one of the productions.
So, Ellie, for this experience, and just being an welcoming person, I’ll dedicate this to Crane to you.
Music I listened to while sewing: More dance music… Although this playlist I’ve found has turned into some Top 40 realness. I have no idea who some of these artists are… It seems I’m officially old and not the target audience, it seems!
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Yesterday during a rehearsal for this web-series, Ellie mentioned that what she liked most about this project was that it embraced the confusion and uncertainty of the mid-20s (Surprise, it’s a series about a 25 year old woman who’s uncovering that she doesn’t know what she wants from life, which in turn makes her family and friends think about what they want!). She said the 20s really aren’t a great decade for most people; it’s confusing to have to start your own journey and be considered an adult and not feel like one and start to make choices that will affect the path your life is on.
But Ellie also mentioned that never changes. As we grow up, we discover there isn’t a certain age where things click. Things don’t make more sense at 30 or 34 than they did at 27 or 22 or 18, you know?
I’ve started to accept that confusion really is a common thread, a frequent companion maybe, in life. And that’s going to have to be okay.
I am doing the best I can? Is this what I’m meant to do? Am I okay? Will I ever get the chance to do ____? What are those people doing? What am I doing?
In high school, in college, in your mid-20s, and even now in my mid-30s, has that nagging feeling of “What?” ever changed? And will it?
When I’m 44 or 54 or 64, how much do you want to bet that I’ll just be fumbling along like I am now, but only with a few more lessons under my belt or a different perspective on it all?
So, just embrace it. Live in the moment. Own it. Learn from it. Move on.
Time to get the week started.