It’s only Saturday. I have this terrified feeling that it’s actually Sunday and the weekend is already over.
I’m not feeling great right now, in other words.
Date: September 14, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 209
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Scott F.
He was another Acting teacher at the National High School Institute my first summer there. I didn’t have the opportunity to work with him, or assist him, but we did manage to hang out together a few times.
He was the writer and director of a show called Schoolhouse Rock Live! that was achieving a kind of fame in some theater circles. He felt like the famous person on staff that summer.
Music I listened to while sewing: I’ve got my “Chill Out” playlist going this morning. I need it.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Well, today isn’t going to be great.
I was up past 3am this morning, thinking and then thumbing through magazines and then Youtubing music videos then fashion videos then episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race. The dog woke me up at 7.
I’ve got a meeting for the show I’m doing that has no budget and no fee for my work in an hour and a half.
I’m supposed to be at a run-through of a different show two hours later.
I need to find someone who will board my dog tomorrow evening, because I have to be on a 6am train to Providence on Monday. So far, the usual suspects are busy or unreachable. I also have to do research for that show; funny how being hired at the last minute and going to meet the director on the first day of rehearsal isn’t an ideal situation.
I need to get to the gym, but that’ll be tomorrow. I hope.
I had dinner with a friend last night. I left him feeling like I didn’t actually say anything I wanted to say during the conversation. I just need to talk about things a bit. I need to vent, uninterrupted, for about 20 minutes. I just need to get some things off my chest.
Today is a day for deep breathing. I just need to focus on taking breaths in, and then just releasing all that used air and pent-up frustration and confusion into the world. I am not an island. I am not superman. I am not a robot.
First things: get dressed. Go to meeting downtown.
Focus on getting the dog boarded tomorrow night after that. (At times like this, I really wish I had a boyfriend who would just offer to watch him… Need to start dating with renewed determination.)
Read the play for Monday’s rehearsal tonight.
Ignore emails about the play whose run-through I will skip. Forward all the questions to the designer so she can answer them. Do not take the burden of worrying about answers that aren’t in my power to provide.
Maybe have a glass of wine after that.
Tomorrow, gym. Maybe stop by City Quilter for some new fabric.
One breath at a time, people.
Cheers. Happy weekend.