Well, everyone: this my 200th Crane. I’m 1/5 of the way there.
I’ve been working on this project since February 18th, just to give you a sense of perspective of how long this has taken me so far. I have four times that number of days ahead of me to finish the first stage of the project.
Date: September 12, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 207
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Jeffrey S.
I didn’t meet Jeffrey my first summer at NHSI, it would have been my second one. But I heard about him frequently. Jeffrey, at the time, was dating Steve, the Voice and Movement teacher I was assisting in class.
I still consider Jeffrey a friend, even though he lives in Toronto and I hardly ever see him. Truthfully, the last time we had the opportunity to hang out was two years ago, during the summer. He had come to the city with a friend, and we made it a point to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see the Alexander McQueen exhibit called Savage Beauty.
I eventually saw that exhibit 6 times over the course of the summer; whenever I was bored, I would walk to the museum (I used to live so close to it!) and hang out there, trying to memorize the clothes shown.
Jeffrey, when we went together, was a good person to go with. I feel like he got the emotionality behind the clothes. I’m not sure he would consider himself a “fashionista,” but he understood they were beautiful and provocative. He left the museum that day just as excited as I was.
And I think that’s one of Jeffrey’s best qualities: he lives in the moment. If you spend time with him, you always have the sense that things are alright, that things will be great, that you’re involved in something special.
I’m sure he has bad days, boring or frustrating ones, but you’d never know it.
Music I listened to while sewing: I’ve got Goldfrapp’s new album playing this morning. A friend told me about it yesterday; he went to her concert in New York two days ago, and talked non-stop about her for a spell.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I guess my frustration right now really comes down to my re-entry into the world after Monday’s trip to Sleep No More. It was great to see my friend Katie. It was a great evening of theater. The show I saw was unexpected and very pleasantly surprising and left me high on what I had just taken a part of, on what I had seen.
It was great theater.
And so, coming back down to life on Tuesday, where things just seemed so banal, stung a little.
In other words, I’m just bored now. I think I’m frustrated because I don’t really have anything specific to look forward to. Everything just seems like work or things I have to get through; no thing seems like something I want to experience fully in the moment.
That’s got to change.
Maybe it’s best to focus on the here and now, and not worry about next week or think about time ahead of me. Just wade through the day, checking the items off the to-do list, until I hopefully come out on the other side. Jeez, writing that out, and not just thinking it in my head, sounds completely depressing.
How unfulfilled am I with what’s going on right now?
Maybe it’s time to be a little selfish. Maybe it’s time to live in the moment, but remember to put myself in the equation.
I don’t know what that means yet.
Okay, off to swatch a black melton wool. That’s my *big* goal today for the show. Yay…