Monday again; another week starts and it starts early today!
I worry that things are gonna go down this week.
Date: August 19, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 183
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Professor Macleod.
In the four years I studied at Kenyon, I only had the opportunity to take one class with Professor Macleod. I never got the chance to work on or be in one of her shows.
She was certainly a presence, and had a good amount of fame surrounding her. Like Professor Tazewell, she was also a Kenyon graduate from years before, and had worked her way through the theater, film, and television worlds before coming back to teach. My first year, she was on a work sabbatical, to write for a television show. She had also recently had one of her best known plays turned into a small film. It was shown in the class I took with her my last year at Kenyon.
It always struck me. For the most part, I felt as if I fit in within the Kenyon drama department, and could approach any of the professors if I needed to. Through my time, though, I never developed a relationship with Macleod.
Perhaps it was my fault?
I never felt like I was in the right crowd to be in her shows or do well in her classes.
But, to this day, I’m reminded of one mistake I made on a paper for her class. It’s one thing to make an argument in a paper that a professor does not agree with. To argue something completely wrong. To turn in a paper incredibly late. To forget to do a paper.
It’s another thing to take the topic of the paper- a playwright- and slightly misspell their name once in the first sentence of the 5 page paper. It’s another thing to misspell consistently that name of a revered playwright who is the subject of that paper and a good deal of a semester’s-worth of discussions throughout the entire freaking paper.
Getting that paper back, and seeing that criticism on the front page, was an incredibly… um… humbling experience.
Lesson learned. To this day, I still never trust my spelling of that name. In fact, I tend to avoid discussing that playwright still…
Music I listened to while sewing: I watched a PBS documentary by Ken Burns about the Prohibition today! Who knew that watching such a dry subject (pun intended?) at 6am would be so interesting!?
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I am really over this constant anxiety that always seems to pop up in my head at 10pm. Spent another night up past 1am… just worrying.
It’s so weird to know that you just have to do something, something that may really change several parts of your life and not for the better.
On one hand, it’ll be great to get this out of the way. On the other, the possibilities of what happens next may be upsetting.
And on that note, let’s get the week started?