Block 160: August 3, 2013

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Happy, rainy Saturday. The light is a little gray. The Dog refused to go outside in the 7:30am drizzle. But we’re here!

Date: August 3, 2013

Crane: 160

Days Spent on Project: 167

Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC

Person I would have sent it to: Anne M.

Like yesterday’s Crane dedication to Wendy, Anne was one of those people who was always around at Kenyon. She was an English major, if I remember correctly, so I’m not sure we shared more than one or two classes during those four college years.

But she was always pleasant.

And she always insisted on calling me by my full name whenever she saw me. (This is a frequent occurrence in my life; hardly anyone addresses me by my first name or simply my last. It’s always the FULL name. I’ve been told it’s one of the dangers of having monosyllabic first, middle, and last names and having those names all technically being first names as well. My name is an exclamation.)

So, while we were never good friends, maybe just good acquaintances, Anne and I have made the leap into 21st Century friendship and we follow each other on most social media sites. And we comment on each other’s updates often. Or favorite them. Or retweet them.

Anne is a good person who is very aware of the world around her. And that’s pretty awesome.

Music I listened to while sewing: I’m back again on that playlist of music from my LA friend. Today, I’m stuck on the songs by Kyle Bobby Dunn. I assume he’s French, as all the song titles are in French.

It’s music I’ve never heard of, but am falling in love with…

And it makes me think how amazing the work I do can potentially be. Every time you start a project for theater, you enter that world unaware of what it is or what it will be. There’s so much to learn and so much to experience and so much to see and feel.

It’s that sensation, the constant learning and the constant unravelling of the world, that makes the work worth it. You know?

It’s sad when you work on projects that don’t ask you to discover something. And I get that not everything has the potential to be a great learning experience… but everything, every experience, should teach us something. To see something new. To feel differently.

Right?

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I’ve learned it’s easy to talk and feel positively about the world as I sit here behind my computer.

The hard part, the really challenging work, is to take that feeling and carry it with you throughout the day in New York City.

It’s hard to maintain that sense of faith and hope in the world around you when you have to leave the security of your home, your dog, and live amongst the world and all the challenges it throws at you.

Making and needing money. Riding the subway. Walking by the homeless person who sits on that corner. Feeling tired. Working too much or not enough. Smelling the city. Dealing with the heat. Hearing that comment. Feeling crowded. Being alone. Finding a present your dog left for you. Stuck in a rainstorm.

And I suppose you really do have to take them as that: challenges. Small ones, of course, but minor inconveniences that we experience daily and that help to make up our lives in total.

How do you hold on to that sense of hope and faith… contentedness?… as you walk through your day.

I believe it’s possible. And I believe it’s something we should all try to work on.

How can we all carry the best sense of ourselves with us and hold onto that?

And would it make things better?

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2 thoughts on “Block 160: August 3, 2013

  1. It’d be stimulating to feel we’re learning something new every time, like a baby discovering every step of his life. However, in the real world, it’s sad we don’t always get that sense of gratitude and discovery anymore. It’s mechanical, repetitive work and pressures are on us, and people may not always appreciate our work. People stop thinking why they work. As we’re more introspective and still try to keep our curiosity, we see the world differently and we taste the joy in everything that we do.

    I wish you all the best with your new discovery each day.

    • Thank you! It really is a struggle to find the balance, right? As a freelancer, especially, I understand I have to take all the work that comes my way and just do it in order to stay afloat. It isn’t always ideal- not every project leads to some new discovery. I just hope that every experience I have through this work does lead to some new idea or feeling or thought.

      A boy can dream, you know?

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