And today, I made a mistake.
I cut one of my outer edges with 1/8″ of seam allowance. Ooops! When I realized this catastrophe, I toyed with throwing this Crane away and re-doing it.
But, no, I’m embracing this imperfection. It is what it is. Love your flaws, everyone!
Date: July 8, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 141
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Today, I would send this Crane to Sam H.
I forget her exact title, but Sam hired me to be a Resident Advisor during that second year at Kenyon. I remember applying at the end of my first year, and really wanting the opportunity to be a “leader.” I wanted to help people. I wanted to guide people.
I worried about the application. I wanted the best recommendations. I wanted to present my best self.
Sam must have seen something in me, because she did hire me. She did, at the very least, acknowledge that I had the potential to be a leader. That I could help people. That I was good enough.
I can’t say I was the best RA. I mean, honestly, I was 19 to 20 years old during that year. I was supposed to have a co-ed hall on a Wellness floor (Oh, how my life has changed) at first, but was shifted to an all-guy “athletes” hall right before the start of the year. I’m not making an excuse with that… I’m just saying that I might have been a bit misplaced.
Hello, wee little gay boy majoring in drama, with an emphasis in costume design and acting, who also danced in his spare time.
Anyway, regardless of if I was a good RA or an average RA… someone believed that I could do the job. And I did the job.
Sometimes all you have to remember is that someone gave you the thumbs up. Sometimes all you have to remember is that you did your best.
Music I listened to while sewing: It’s a “Chill Out” playlist kinda morning here. Nothing has struck my fancy yet, but the music keeps playing.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I’ll be upfront with you, ladies and gentlemen, I’m having one of those “down” mornings.
I’m starting to allow myself to think what I really want to be doing right now.
If I had the money and the means and the time, what would I do? What do I want?
I did, yesterday, turn down a job that I had been offered for the end of the month. It wouldn’t have paid anything, so I didn’t lose out on any money… it would have been just a resume credit. I turned it down because I’m exhausted.
I’m teaching for a week starting on Thursday. Meanwhile, I’m assisting another designer on two projects starting tomorrow. Today is my day off, which will be spent researching and reading for the teaching gig.
So, I’m tired. That’s realistically why I’m down. That’s possibly why I made my sewing mistake on the Crane.
I promised a friend yesterday that I wouldn’t make any life decisions until I had a day off and a chance to just sit on the couch and hibernate for 24 hours. Maybe that’s the best thing to do.
Just keep swimming until I can take 24 hours for myself. Then start to evaluate.
Just keep swimming, guys. It’s all we can do.