Ladies and Gentlemen:
This is the 100th one!
Can I just acknowledge for a second that I have 900 more to go? That this is ONLY 1/10th of the entire project? That this is a kind of milestone?
Date: May 28, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 100
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Jenn. F.
Her locker was always next to mine at Brebeuf. She was always nice to me. We got along throughout those awkward four years.
I’ve been thinking about her frequently in the past year. We’re friends on Facebook; even though I don’t know much about the current direction of her life or what’s happened in the past 16 years, I think she’s doing good.
She messaged me last year on Facebook about the most interesting thing. She said she wanted me to know that not all religious people are anti-gay. And that some Christians are trying to reach out and get people to understand that we’re all human, we’re all the same.
She also, when I started this project, exactly guessed the purpose of this exercise. She said the Cranes felt like prayers.
I couldn’t have said it better.
Music I listened to while sewing: Yeah, this is going to sound weird, but I found a band called “Blue Sky Black Death” on Spotify. Has anyone else heard of them?
As aggressive and also depressive as it sounds, it’s been kinda great to listen to their album “Noir” today. (The names keep making it sound awesome, don’t they?)
Anyway, it’s been great atmospheric, chilling-out, calming down, fix-my-mood music. I’m especially in love with “Sleeping Children Are Still Flying.”
See, the names totally make them a different thing!
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I started this on February 18, 2013. It’s been over three months. I’ve been able to sneak this work into my daily routine, and therefore have it become routine, for a hundred days.
Have things changed? Have I moved forward? Has it made me a better person?
It has been an exercise, and will continue to be so hopefully, of facing a task in small and accomplishable ways. You have to take it one step at a time. It isn’t about seeing the end product (that super-long banner of cranes stitched and quilted together and hanging on an unbelievably long wall OR maybe an obscenely large hanging on an unbelievably huge wall); it’s about seeing the goal in front of you.
The goal really is JUST about piecing 17 triangles and trapezoids together as best you can, by trying to match angles and points and stitch on the lines and make sure you’ve left yourself enough seam allowance as best you can. It’s about pairing colors or patterns or textures together and not sitting at your sewing table obsessing if this one LITTLE choice, this honestly minute detail, is going to steer the project in a bad direction.
It’s about evolving the project that you’ve set out to do. Based on yesterday’s choices, based on the fabric I have in my work space, based on if I’m tired or angry or happy or content or confused: it’s about knowing what happened before and living enough in the moment to just make a choice and moving on.
I think that’s what I’m getting out of it.
Or should be getting. I think.
I have no idea what lies ahead for this. I know I have every intention of piecing these Cranes together and dedicating them to friends, acquaintances, strangers, colleagues, enemies and so on.
I don’t know how it’ll end up.
I’m learning to accept the process, taking it as it comes, and not worrying about my end-product.
To 900 more.