Struck me this morning: I’m almost at the 100 Crane mark.
That means I’m almost 1/10 of the way through the project.
That means I have 9/10 more to go.
Oh dear lord.
I’m at the point where I can’t really see the beginning anymore, and I certainly can’t see the end. It’s a part of the daily routine (how many of you sew at 6am?), so quitting doesn’t feel like an option.
One day at a time!
Date: May 24, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 96
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: My friend, Emily L., from Brebeuf’s junior and senior years.
When did I meet Emily? It was definitely at some point in the last half of my time at Brebeuf. We shared more than a few classes together… Geometry, Calculus, English, Art? We ran in the same circles.
Or maybe I should just say that by my junior year, I was completely enveloped into this circle of friends.
She played Viola. I always thought it was a violin or a cello. I had no, and most certainly still don’t have any, idea what made a viola different for all those instruments.
Her father was a gastroenterologist. I could never pronounce that correctly.
Incredibly smart, she was Princeton bound, if I remember correctly.
Looking back, it was really important to find this group of friends. Yes, they were mostly all female and perhaps I should have tried to gravitate more towards my male classmates, but they accepted me and we all had a certain level of intelligence and drive and creativity and we all wanted to be places. And we all expected to be places.
I wonder where those places are now.
Music I listened to while sewing: I can’t even remember, and it’s only 1pm. Sitting down to a sewing machine at 6 am is getting hard; I’m incredibly thankful tomorrow is Saturday.
Anyway, it was probably pop music. Nothing memorable.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Today is a lesson in learning to LET IT GO.
As I was almost finished piecing this Crane together, and I worked on matching the angles that make the first “foot,” I didn’t get it right.
I was running out of time, and so I moved on. The next seam, joining the head to the body was okay, but I missed my intended stitching line by maybe 1/16″ of an inch. I moved on.
On the last seam, joining the two halves, I tried to pair up the last leg and I got it right easily. However, there is a slight curve along the body. I went back, undid the offending curve, and restitched it correctly on the second time. If I had left the block unaltered, it would have been okay, but it wouldn’t have laid as flat as it could have.
I guess you have to learn when you can obsess and go back and rework and try again. I guess you have to learn when it’s worth the extra effort. I guess you have to learn to choose your battles.
I was running out of time this morning, so I needed to keep going. I saw the things that weren’t perfect, but I kept going. I came across one mistake that might snowball into a bigger problem later; I saw that I had the time, and so I fixed that mistake.
Interesting to think about that today, especially as I’m sitting in my studio space and have been staring at my computer for the better part of an hour. I don’t have the pertinent information, research, or drawings to do the work I need to do if I’m supposed to keep this production moving. And it’s not *my* fault. All I can do is keep asking for it, and I have been. Other parties are dragging their feet.
I’m at a point where I might get frustrated soon. Well, truthfully, I am frustrated; I know if I don’t get this work moving, it’s going to be problematic in the future. I know that. My designer doesn’t.
All I can do is keep moving, right? All I can do is work with what I have, yes? All I can do is keep asking for more. All I can do is try to explain why I’m quite possibly sounding annoying.
Keep moving. Just let it go. I might have three more months of this to come. It’s too early to take that burden emotionally.
Although I really can’t wait for the weekend.