Block 91: May 19, 2013



I’ve been thinking all weekend about money, as I’m budgeting this musical. Since all I’m seeing is dollar bills in my mind’s eye, how about a green-on-green block today?

This is the official 13 week mark, people.

Not that that means anything, but it’s cool.

Date: May 19, 2013

Crane: 91

Days Spent on Project: 91

Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC

Person I would have sent it to: On the first night of my high school freshman year’s Christmas Break, my family (dad, mom, brother, and one sister) went to see a movie. It was called Geronimo. We went to a Loew’s Cinema on 86th Street in Indianapolis. Just down the street from Brebeuf, actually.

Afterwards, we went to the Ben & Jerry’s just a few minutes away. My other sister worked there (and had been for a while). We had ice cream; I probably had their Blueberry Pie flavor… or perhaps it was the Apple Pie? I loved any kind of pie offering, even in ice cream.

On the drive home, it was raining. Not snowing.

My sister and I got in a fight. I remember what it was about.

My father hit the brakes. The car hydroplaned. We struck a cement wall that bordered a culvert.

I wasn’t wearing my seat belt. I was sitting in between my sister and brother in the middle seats in my mother’s Land Cruiser.

I believe I was thrown forward and backward. I don’t know.

I can’t remember what happened other than things moving up and down quickly. I remember crawling on the vividly green (in December?) grass and hearing my sister screaming. I remember needing to lay down on the ground. I remember a woman, coming up to me and looking me in the eyes and talking to me and looking at me and talking and a lot of talking and my family being around somewhere and they were being loud and the woman was looking at me and talking.

I was then in an ambulance. I remember wondering where my leg was, and asking if it was still there. It was.

I was at the hospital. My father was there. I was having surgery. They were shortening my left index finger. Part of it had been torn off.

Afterwards, my mother took me to where the Land Cruiser had been towed. It was crushed. Looking inside, my own blood was in a few spots.

It may sound macabre, but this accident was significant. I think it was one of “those” times when paths were changed. I wasn’t in danger of dying, by any means, but things were altered.

To the nameless woman who’s lawn I crawled onto in the middle of the night on December 17, 1994, this Crane is for you. I met you afterwards at your house. My mom and I took you dessert bread that we made (and still do) at Christmas time. I learned you were a nurse. I must have learned your name. I don’t remember it.

But I remember the grass. And the looking. And the talking.

Thank you.

Music I listened to while sewing: Back to my “Chill Out” playlist. Need something in the atmosphere that isn’t going to grab my attention too much.

So much to do today; I feel like my attention is really divided. Don’t want the music to add to that.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Better day yesterday… We’re moving back up the path.

I managed to get a hypothetical budget in place for the musical I’m working on. I managed to get to the gym for a half hour run. I checked out a studio space in midtown for the aforementioned project. The designer and I confirmed which studio we’d like. That was my day.

I feel like I neglected the dog a bit, as we didn’t get to his Saturday morning play date (again, I was chained to the computer). I haven’t been to the grocery yet. I ate take out again last night. I feel gross this morning because of it (that this neighborhood doesn’t have great dining options is really getting to me).

I have to call my designer in California and talk through the budget. I was conservative, and I need to emphasize that and talk about how that might bite us in the behind down-the-line. I need to email the Company Manager, my assistant, a wardrobe supervisor possibility, a shopper, and some other people about helping me on my smaller design show.

That’s a lot. And none of it is for me.

SO, let’s prioritize time at the gym. After this I will go on Fresh Direct and buy groceries and have them delivered. I will attempt to get the dog to the dog run, but it’s misty and rainy (so he might not want it).

That will be my day.

I’m trying to take the steps to move positively in a direction instead of wallowing in a mood.

Gotta start treating myself better. I’m only going to get busier this summer. I need to focus some time on Me.

Okay, remember to do the same for yourself today too. It’s only Sunday, and that doesn’t have to be a bad or sad thing.

Here’s to the week. We’re in it to win it!


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