Block 87: May 15, 2013


This is quickly becoming my go-to color combination.

I need to work harder to push myself away from it.

Date: May 15, 2013

Crane: 87

Days Spent on Project: 87

Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC

Person I would have sent it to: Jonathan B., another one of the first pack of friends I had at Brebeuf.

You know, in order to refresh my mind a bit on what my high school community was like, I found my old freshman yearbook.

It’s kind of a wicked little time capsule, isn’t it?

Geez, back in the early 90s, there wasn’t a shoulder seam too oversized, was there? Our pants were so high waisted still! And the denim was all such an innocent wash of blue! And… turtlenecks? On 15 year olds?

Yeah, I understand that the teenage years are particularly awkward for most human beings (despite what Hollywood tells us), but wow. The 1990s were defined by such an awkward clothing silhouette: casual above all, no definition, and body conscious just meant tight.

It’s funny to think that it’ll be cool again in 10 or 15 years.

Anyway, Jonathan! Thank you for being one of the pack, for bringing me into the group.

Music I listened to while sewing: I just needed pop music this morning. I can’t be bothered actually to listen to or think about what’s playing.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Okay, so I’m not having a good morning. Last night the switch flipped off again.

It’s taking a lot of effort to work. I didn’t want to sew a crane. I didn’t want to walk my dog. I don’t want to reply to all the emails that I didn’t want to deal with last night. I don’t want to play the game of phone tag I’ve been playing with one of my production companies. I don’t want to talk to one of my directors. I don’t want to look at research. I don’t want to be responsible.

I’m convinced I’m unattractive again. I feel bloated. I’ll get to the gym because I need to feel like I’m doing something to fight against the sloth I’m convinced I am this morning.

Okay. I can float on auto-pilot for a spell. Even though I walked my dog at 7am for 20 minutes, I can take him to the dog park. It’s possible some of his friends will be there to play around with. Some of my neighborhood friends might be there; maybe I just need to talk to or interact with an adult for a bit.

I have a meeting at 5:30. I’ll go to the gym before that.

My priority will be responding these emails. Returning phone calls. Set up a plan for tomorrow.

Today will be a slow one. Today is just today. One today at a time.

Let’s look forward to tomorrow.

One thought on “Block 87: May 15, 2013

  1. Totally fascinating… and usually painful for you… the changes in one’s demeanor from day to day. Can we always feel it happening? I can’t. It arrives unannounced, oft times with a flourish, sometimes funkified. We’re all there with you, in our own little universal struggles. I hope you find that adult to talk with, even if he or she is a stranger. Sometimes that works best, alas. And don’t talk yourself out of that wonderful color combination, either. It’s splendid!

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