Rainstorms this morning. Now, just a few hours later, the skies are blue and cloudy.
Date: May 8, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 80
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: So, yesterday’s Crane was dedicated to my neighbor Ben. Today’s will be dedicated to his wife.
Ola was one of the first people I met when I moved into the building; she came up to me, wanting to meet my dog.
My dog likes her a lot.
And, as I stayed in the neighborhood for Thanksgiving (couldn’t easily get to family as I had just spent all my money moving into the apartment), she brought me a dozen donuts as a treat.
Apparently, making dinner or buying me baked goods is a short-cut to getting a Crane dedicated to you.
Anyway, Ben and Ola have certainly brought me into the building’s community, which has been much needed. In the three buildings I’ve rented apartments from in the seven years I’ve been here, this has been the first where I feel like my neighbors (sort of) know me and will talk to me.
It’s always good to feel like you’re a part of something, isn’t it?
Music I listened to while sewing: Something about the gray skies, the rain pelting down, and my dog’s refusal to relieve himself outside this morning put me in a mood for some Nina Simone.
The first song that played was called “Mood Indigo.”
Can’t decide if it’s 100% appropriate for how I feel right now. Although a deep blue with a hint of warmth in it does feel somewhat correct…
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I’ll be blunt… I’m actually cranky.
Didn’t sleep well at all last night; throughout the night, I was plagued by a series of anxiety dreams. At 3:30am, I just gave up and read a few magazines.
Why, you ask?
I’m in the extremely interesting position of having double-booked myself on two very different and possibly very rewarding jobs. One is the opportunity to design for a company that has a good reputation in the city, and actually an audience that follows them. It would be nice to design my own work for a change, instead of facilitating the creation of other designer’s ideas.
The second job is a very lucrative associate design gig. I’d be spearheading an interesting project that would employ me for almost 4 months. I’d be paid nicely. It’ll be an “interesting” project, and not necessarily difficult.
A part of me knows I could balance the two by hiring my own assistant for the design gig and paying them my fee to finish the work I start.
A part of me knows that the associate gig will eat all my time, as I’d be working helping people who haven’t necessarily worked on that scale before.
One or the other: I have to take the job that will give me some financial peace of mind. I wish I could take the one that would give me a chance to develop my identity as a designer.
A friend tells me it’s a good problem to have, and I completely agree.
I’m just annoyed that it’s always “feast or famine” in a freelance career. It’s never smooth sailing and straightforward.
Oh well, off to have an early lunch. Need to get myself back on track and out of this funk!
Hope you all are doing well.