Happy Star Wars Day, if you’re into that kind of thing.
(“May the fourth” be with you! Get it?)
Date: May 4, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 76
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Miss McCarthy, my Math teacher at Brebeuf for… Pre-Algebra, Algebra, Trig, AP Algebra, etc.
Miss McCarthy was a former nun who had seemingly been with the school since the beginning (even though Brebeuf was founded in the early 60s, it seemed doubtful she had been there THAT long). She was everything you expect a former nun to be in a private Jesuit school: gruff, demanding, hardcore, tough, intelligent, and determined to keep her students in line.
She was also: a cornerstone of the Brebeuf experience, funny, smart, and to sit in on one of her classes was rewarding.
Yes, she had a tendency to smack students on the head with a small spiral notebook if they didn’t do homework or fell behind on lessons.
Yes, she had very strict rules about how you should *do* math and write it out and approach it.
But she was passionate about teaching and math and her students.
And I kinda believe we all appreciated and counted on her for all of this.
When I went to college, I took a year’s worth of Math classes to get some of my requirements “out of the way.” My teachers were always impressed that I got math, many times asking if I had thought to major with their department.
They were always shocked when I replied that I was set on getting my BA in Drama.
So, Miss McCarthy, for giving me the knowledge, confidence, and ability to understand math and impress a bunch of college professors; for being one of the cornerstones of Brebeuf; for your passion; for your humor; for your “act”; this Crane will be for you.
Music I listened to while sewing: Chose to put on Mika again this morning. Needed something peppy.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Today was the first day in what feels like weeks where I woke up and couldn’t think of anything I *had* to do.
Sweet, sweet, SWEET relief.
Maybe it was that realization that nothing was going to press down on me for the next day or two, or maybe it was the 30 minute walk with The Dog when I looked up and saw that all the trees had leaves, or maybe it was just the sun, or that it’s Saturday morning and the neighborhood is quiet, but I just felt happy.
And that’s just a great feeling to have. I’m still kinda broke. I’m still unsure about which project will happen next. But, BUT, I feel like a lot of things are going well for me.
I have this project, which has become a fixture of my early mornings. I have one side project, trying to develop a new play, which may not turn into anything. I feel like I’ve got a solid connection to a new theater company after my last two designs. I’ve solidified a new contact with a designer and associate.
I still worry that I’m not social enough. I still worry that I eat terribly. I still worry that I rely on crutches to cope.
I feel like progress is being made. I feel like I am managing to put one foot in front of the other as best I can.
If the goal of this project was to focus on movement ahead and facing forward and not down, I feel like I’m managing to accomplish that.
I still trip all the time. I expect I will stumble a few times.
But, one step at a time, guys.
Okay, off to the dog run; The Dog needs to run around with his friends.