In hindsight, this one might look somewhat similar to my 16th Crane.
Hm. Must try to expand my horizons; yellow-ish orange doesn’t always have to go with blue.
Date: April 18, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 60
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Sara D., another one of the friends I made in middle school.
I think she had a crush on me. It was frequently asked of me if I thought she was cute and if I’d want to “date her.” It never occurred to me that other kids might construe my tendency to befriend girls rather than guys as a means to “date” them. I’ve always gravitated towards girls more than guys.
(As a gay man in my mid-30s, I realize this may explain my lackluster dating life.)
Anyway, Sara: I never had a crush on you. I’m sure you’ve figured that out by now. Besides, I needed more friends than girlfriends at that time in my life.
Music I listened to while sewing: I’m aware that I’m late to the party, but I’ve been listening to Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’s album The Heist all day. It’s really good! I’m surprised I like it!
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: Do you ever get the sense during the day that life is kinda beautiful in a normal way?
It’s not about seeing model-worthy people walking down the street. Nor is it about spending time in a museum in front of a famous painting. Nor is it about walking through Central Park on a gorgeous sunny day.
The consistent motion of life: how we all exist here together, all completely different and working towards weirdly different objectives and viewing the world as different individuals will, and keep the world moving forward (because despite all the damage we commit and fumbling we do, I believe humanity *can’t* actually move backward) is humbling.
I don’t know how to describe it actually; walking along 58th street and going down into the subway to catch the A train uptown, it just hit me. Walking through an underground corridor, passing and walking with hundreds of people on their own way to their own destination: we’re all, more or less, in the same boat. We all work. I’m sure more than a few of us are tired or exhausted or annoyed or overwhelmed or elated after working however many hours we did. We’re all going to the next part of our day: I’m going home to my dog, where I will walk him, feed him his dinner, and then I will eat something and fill the time until bed. The man next to me might be going home to his family. The woman who passed me might be going to a second job. Or a date. Or to meet friends.
One of the really great experiences about New York is feeling that constant sense of being surrounded by other people. It’s physically impossible to be alone here (which isn’t saying that you can’t be alone in this city- sometimes that loneliness can be overly painful because you’re always a little aware of the people around you). My parents find that aspect of New York too overwhelming. I enjoy it; you see so many kinds of people and so many types of behaviors and attitudes that I’ve been able to expand my horizons here.
And I’ve come to realize that, no matter how different we all look or act, we all are working towards similar goals.
I don’t know. Maybe I sound too “Pollyanna” here.
So, I’ll just summarize by saying: living in New York has helped me understand we’re all not perfect, that we’re all capable of good and bad things, and that we all have *some* things in common.
The human experience, including the range of emotions and feelings we’re capable of, isn’t that diverse that we can’t be connected somehow.
Tomorrow’s Friday, everyone. Hope you enjoy the night and are ready for the weekend.