Block 58: April 16, 2013

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Happy Tuesday, everyone.

Hope you’re all safe and sound.

Date: April 16, 2013

Crane: 58

Days Spent on Project: 58

Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC

Person I would have sent it to: Okay. I know I just yesterday discussed that I was ready to start thinking about middle school, and the Cranes that would be dedicated to those two years of my life.

I thanked my seventh grade English teacher yesterday. Today I’ve had a hard time thinking of any other adults from that time that I would like to acknowledge.

That’s terrible.

Where were the adults during that time? Where were any authority figures? Where were any role models?

I will admit that when I entered into the world of middle school, and left behind the security of elementary school, I may not have adjusted very well; did I expect too much from people? Did the role of the teacher become simply a job that some adults did for 7 hours a day in a building, in front of disinterested students? Where were the people who cared about what they taught? And cared about whom they taught to?

So, I’ll leave it at that. For the moment, my English teacher from seventh grade will probably be the only adult from that point in my life to get a Crane.

Today, I’ll dedicate today’s Crane to Sarah McM.

She was smart. She was in the advanced classes. She was quirky. She was nice. She liked Elvis. She wrote notes and folded them in interesting and secure ways; she wrote notes to keep in touch, even though we had a few classes together.

Her father was a preacher in one of the town’s smaller churches. I’m not sure what he thought about my being one of her best friends… Again, I was the (in hindsight) gay kid who surrounded himself with female friends.

So, thank you, Sarah.

Music I listened to while sewing: I was all over the map this morning. I listened to Les Miserables, then needed some “ambient” music, then Audra McDonald. I didn’t want anything specific; I kept changing my mind all morning.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: In light of yesterday’s events (the bombing at the Boston Marathon), I’m just confused.

I’m having a hard time understanding what it means to hate… what it means to want to make a statement through violent ends… what it must mean to be so lost that you have to reach out by hurting others… what it must mean to be truly unhappy or disconnected or angry or desperate.

How is it possible to feel that removed from people?

 

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